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A fish called Colin, a penis called Justin

If a fish can be given a different name because people are embarrassed to ask for it, there's a strong argument for certain body parts to be renamed for the same reason. And Copperfield make it.

If a fish can be given a different name because people are embarrassed to ask for it, there's a strong argument for certain body parts to be renamed for the same reason. And Copperfield make it.

Supermarket chain Sainsburys have given up trying to persuade their customers to ask for pollack at the fish counter. It seems that the word is simply too embarrassing. From now on we're expected to ask for it by its French name,"colin" ( pronounced wiz zer comedic accent as 'co-lan' ).

Pollack may be a sustainable species but it's really only fit for cat food. Fancy name or not I'm not serving it up with a bag of chips.

It's not the first time that fishmongers have tried to pull a fast one – last year's pilchards are this season's "Cornish Sardines" - but hell, they're still pilchards.

But if supermarkets can get away with linguistic sleight-of-hand, why can't we give it a go?

I propose that from this moment on the prostate gland is renamed "Kevin". Not only will avoid the inevitable mispronunciation - "prostrate" - it will also put patients at their ease in a potentially uncomfortable situation. Trouble peeing? Well, let's just pop you up on the couch and give Kevin a tickle. See how much less threatening that sounds?

In a similar vein I'd like to christen the foreskin "Gavin" to make consultations about phimosis less reliant on repeated use of the word "thingy" and there's a compelling case to be made for renaming the glans penis as "Justin", especially when blokes need ten minutes to talk about their ED or premature ejaculation.

And finally, henceforth the epididymis is to be referred to as "Barry". No particular reason, it's just that epididymis is a bugger to spell.

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