This site is intended for health professionals only

At the heart of general practice since 1960

A GP's woes set to go on the stage

The Morning Song of the Poor Hard-Pressed GP (see above for lyrics) is one of the songs set to feature in a new musical based on the history of the NHS.

NHS The Musical!, due to open next month, traces the history of the NHS from 1948 to the present day. It follows three patients from diagnosis to the end of their treatment ­ a chain-smoker, a pensioner with a bad hip and a young mother-to-be.

Director Nick Stimson, who wrote the satire with composer Jimmy Jewell, said he was bullied into writing the musical by his now-retired GP.

He told Pulse: 'It was only when I sat in on consultations that I realised just what a GP goes through in a day. I had no idea it was so stressful.'

NHS The Musical! opens at

the Theatre Royal Plymouth on May 15.

The Morning Song of the

Poor Hard-Pressed GP

Receptionist:

Listen to the morning song

of the poor hard-pressed GP,

my task is to protect him,

because they all expect him,

to dry their tears

to quell their fears

with a written guarantee.

Gp:

The ones who turn up every week

who think I'm their best friend,

the ones who when they catch a cold believe they'll never mend,

the ones who fill their bodies up

with junk and fags and booze,

the ones with so much wrong with them it's difficult to choose,

the thick, the bright, the dim, the quick, the fat, the thin, the tall,

the lost, the found, the mad,

the sane,

I'm doctor to them all

The ones who can't locate the pain, the lonely and the old,

the ones who know what's best for them and never will be told,

the ones with nothing wrong with them with sod all else to do,

the bloody hypochondriacs

who think they have the flu,

the ones who walk in through my door with eyes so clear and bright,

and I must take them by the hand

and lead them to the night...

The ones who smoke and drink too much who have themselves to blame, the ones who walk in through my door and don't know why they came,

the ones who stare at me

their heart an empty space,

the ones who when they talk to me they see another's face,

the old, the sick, the young, the lost,

the frightened and the sad,

the brave, the strong, the false, the weak

the desperate and the mad...

Receptionist:

Listen to the morning song

of the poor hard-pressed GP,

my task is to protect him,

because they all expect him,

to dry their tears

to quell their fears

with a written guarantee.

Rate this article 

Click to rate

  • 1 star out of 5
  • 2 stars out of 5
  • 3 stars out of 5
  • 4 stars out of 5
  • 5 stars out of 5

0 out of 5 stars

Have your say