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A faulty production line

'A toiletted doctor is a safer doctor': my alternative campaign for GP rest breaks

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I feel bad knocking the RCGP. They mean no harm. But really. First there was the campaign for 15 minute appointments. Then there was the clarion call that it’s never been a better time to be a GP. And now this: ‘A rested GP is a safer GP’ poster campaign thing.

If we’re going to have a poster campaign, let’s go for gritty realism

As with everything else, you kind of know what they’re getting at, but it goes off half-cocked or in the wrong direction. Quite apart from the fact that, bleedin’ obviously, I simply don’t have time for the ‘regular breaks’ the poster implies I take – just like I don’t have the ability to bend space/time to accommodate 15 minute appointments – I’m not sure the punters will exactly lap it up anyway. After all, if they’re reading the poster, they’re waiting in reception, and if they’re waiting in reception, then, thanks to the poster, they’ll be concluding I’m running late not because I’m overworked but because I’m fuelling up on caffeine, Hobnobs and a power-nap.

So if we’re going to have a poster campaign, let’s go for gritty realism instead.

Here’s my suggestion, feel free to photocopy and plaster your waiting room wall with it.

Your GP’s right to defecate should always come first!

dirty toilet 330x330px

dirty toilet 330x330px

Train drivers, pilots and lorry drivers are contractually allowed to have at least one dump a day.

Your doctor has not had time to open his/her bowels for three weeks now. This is Jeremy Hunt’s fault. If your GP shows signs of distress during the consultation, stand well back.

Remember, a toiletted doctor is a safer doctor.

Support our campaign at www.bogoff.com

Mind you, if anyone’s really full of crap, it isn’t us GPs…

Dr Tony Copperfield is a GP in Essex. You can follow him on Twitter @DocCopperfield

 

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Readers' comments (18)

  • Dear Doc,Surely a better solution would be catheterisation ,defunctioning colostomy and a modafinil drip. yours NHSE

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  • You should publish average time since defecation on the practice website.

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  • I tried bogoff.com
    This is a website selling time pieces
    Very apt!!

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  • I wonder how many would end up with a spasm and constipation at the sight of JH or SF approach their orifices with no lubrication in sight

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  • some greedy GPs have more than one dump a day and some sub-contract dumping to locums and salaried docs. we need to have a maximum number of dumps a day set out contractually if we are to retain and attract GPs.

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  • talking of loo paper

    ;

    https://communities.bma.org.uk/the_practice/b/weblog/archive/2015/05/22/39-shut-down-the-cqc-39-demand-gps

    Regards
    Paul C

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  • Some Jeremy Xunt toilet paper would go down a treat too I suspect

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  • Typical load of c**p from RCGP. Totally useless advice.
    When are they going to grow a pair and come out with something more forceful against NHS cuts and the predicament GP's find themselves in.

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From: Copperfield

Dr Tony Copperfield is a jobbing GP in Essex with more than a few chips on his shoulder