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At the heart of general practice since 1960

America has been drafted in to save the NHS

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‘We’re gunna save da mudaf***ing NHS’, declares the United States of America.

America, famous for world peace, intelligent foreign policy and its fair and equitable healthcare system has been drafted in to sort out the NHS.

We spoke to Hank Studbuckle, a pumped up physician associate from Minnesota. ‘Y’all got yourselves a fine commie system over there folks. But if my name ain’t Hank Studbuckle Junior y’all better start prayin’ to baby Jesus ‘cos for fifty grand a year I’m a comin’ over to work in your fine NHS…yeeee haaaaa, yes I am.’

He then dropped his trousers, revealing star spangled underpants, and let off a couple of shot gun rounds, narrowly missing the brim of his own hat. Once the gun smoke had cleared there was a very long and very awkward silence.

A government spokesperson said: ‘I don’t know why the GPs in this country are so surprised. All we’ve done is create lots of internal domestic problems by meddling with things we know nothing about thereby spreading fear and moral panic amongst the public. Does this sound familiar?

On the positive side America will help us through it all. God bless America!’

Dr Kevin Hinkley is a GP in Edinburgh

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Readers' comments (17)

  • I cant thank you enough for making me laugh out loud on a post bank holiday on call from hell. I will also share this with my American husband!!

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  • In NHS Scotland, Healthcare Improving Scotland have an over-arching role.

    Their remit covers EVERYTHING: Improvement - Scrutiny - Evidence.

    "Improvement methodology", as best I understand it, has been introduced from America (Institute for Healthcare Improvement, Massachusetts)

    Dr Peter J Gordon

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  • Brilliant as always. This one a bit more brilliant than usual :)
    Funny as it is, it is also very true. God bless the all mighty wrecking ball of America.

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  • Bob Hodges

    America!

    F**k yeah!!

    Team America: World Health Service

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  • Burst out laughing.
    Here comes America - COME ON DOWN!
    Thank God there are like minded colleagues and not the usual leftie cardigans to keep me sane

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  • Leftie cardigans lol

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  • At last a voice to cut through the nonsense! God bless America indeed!

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  • Only Donald Trump can make America great again.

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  • Only Donald Trump and his 100% genuine coloured comb-over can put the ASs back in USA

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