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Gold, incentives and meh

An immaculate conception?

From Dr Alan McCubbin, Ashington, Northumberland

Following recent coverage of the overtures from Virgin group to GPs, inviting multi-partner practices to consider relocation to single sites alongside dentists, diagnostic services and allied health professionals, I have rewritten the Parable of the Wise and Foolish Virgins (Matthew 25 vs1-13).

The Parable of the Wise and Foolish GPs and Virgin

1: Then shall the kingdom of Primary Care be likened unto Virgin plc, who promised to remove practice headaches

and so went forth to meet the GPs.

2: And five GPs were wise, and five were foolish.

3: Those that were foolish took their accounts, and took no solicitor with them.

4: But the wise GPs took solicitors in their cars with their accounts.

5: While the GPs tarried, the BMA slumbered and slept.

6: And at midnight there was a cry made. Behold, Richard Branson cometh;

go ye out to meet him.

7: Then all those GPs arose, and readied their accounts.

8: And the foolish GPs said unto the wise, Give us your solicitor; for we are a little suspicious about this 'kind' offer of headache removal without paracetamol.

9: But the wise answered, saying, No way; lest there be not enough for us and you: but go ye rather to your own solicitor, and buy for yourselves.

10: And while the wise went to take legal advice, Richard Branson came; and the foolish GPs went in with him to the marriage: and the door was shut.

11: Afterward came also the wise GPs, saying, Lord Branson, Lord Branson, this looks like a case of you getting your foot into our door, making us wholly dependent upon thee and then taking us over completely.

12: But he answered, Verily I say unto you, I know you not but will soon be opening a competing New Surgery at a shopping centre near you so look in. And by the way I'm not a Lord (yet).

13: Watch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein Richard Branson cometh.

Here endeth the lesson.

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