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An open letter to GPs working overseas

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After reading the advert calling for UK GPs working in Australia to return to our chilly island to practise, I couldn’t help adding my own plea to the mix: 

“8/2/15

Dear colleague,

I trust you are well and I hope you are enjoying yourself out there in Australia, snorkelling and surfing and sunning yourself (and doing lots of other things beginning with ‘s’).

But have you ever thought about coming back to the UK to become a real doctor again? I’m sure you have. And wouldn’t you like to have the opportunity to treat real patients again?

I’m saying “real” because the DoH have it on high authority that Australians are actually made out of latex in a factory near Perth (the hair is stuck on separately).

After living out there for a while, having something called a quality of life, you’ve probably forgotten which way round your stethoscope goes and are feeling pretty crummy about yourself because you no longer sit and cry when you get home from work.

So next time you’re barbecuing a shark’s head or wrestling playfully with a giant shrimp, why don’t you spare a thought for all of us struggling back here in the UK.

I think we all know it was a mistake for you to go. Pick up the phone and re-join the NHS.

Yours sincerely,

A saddened bureaucrat

PS I heard that Australian children now use giant spiders as a convenient mode of transport to and from school? Can you confirm?”

“15/2/15

Dear colleague,

How are you? I’m fine but I can’t help noticing that you haven’t replied to my letter dated the 8th of January. I can only assume you either didn’t get it or you ripped it up into a thousand pieces before setting fire to it on a beach.

So just to reiterate can you please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please (I can go on like this all day because all I have to do is cut and paste the word please) please come back to the UK.

I would seal this letter with a loving kiss but I’ve cried so much I’ve dried up all of my spit.

Yours expectantly,

A very saddened bureaucrat”

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Readers' comments (16)

  • its got as much chance of working as that advert!

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  • Love it!

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  • Bravo...made my day :-)

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  • brilliant! Gave me such a giggle after my ooh shift, yes out of hours!

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  • That is up there with TC's and Phil's writings!! Fantastic.

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  • Please please come back, we are going to use and abuse you, squeeze you like a lemon, and work you into submission... Please come back its better here please!! Oh we will cut your wages and ruin your children too!!! Please come back!

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  • Life must be better on the other side of the ocean.
    You have just left the stressful live as a gp in the UK behind. So why bother coming back. Just enjoy it.
    THE NHS WILL SORT ITS SELF OUT BEFORE TO LONG AND GIVE UK GP's the life they live in Australie in the UK

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  • Dear Saddened Bureaucrat

    I'd love to come back but sadly if I do look like leaving I will be sectioned and sent for treatment because only a madman would return..
    Gladdened GP

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  • I have forwarded letter via email to team who had given advertisement for reflection

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  • sit and cry. That kind of sums up UK General practice. Why the hell do we do it? . Just had one of those days!

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