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Crisis point, but I won't let the complaining bastards kill me!

I was so sorry to learn that Dr Stephen Farley had committed suicide (News, February 2). This situation, I fear, will become an ever more frequent event.

My own situation is nearing crisis point. Just before Christmas I had a situation develop totally out of the blue. My employee (an assistant GP) had reported me repeatedly to the health authority for apparent potential underperformance and I was visited just before Christmas. This all related to certain administrative matters any and all of which could have been sorted out at practice level, but my employee went 'right to the top'.

The report didn't substantiate the accusation or the manner in which the matter was undertaken. The situation is still ongoing but I'm meant to remain pleasant to this employee and am merely waiting for another knife to be plunged into my back.

At the same time a colleague in a nearby smaller practice had also reported me for drug misuse. There had been no significant foundation for this accusation and I have had to go through the whole process of proving my innocence. Such matters are still ongoing despite the absence of evidence. The stress this has caused me and my family has been intolerable.

What is also interesting is that just before this situation happened I was investigating my assistant for repeated missed diagnoses/incorrect treatments over the preceding few months and the last one of which nearly cost the patient their life. I was advised to consider reporting this to the GMC but I can't consider that until I am in the clear.

The other colleague has continued to 'shit stir' and, in the absence of any evidence of me doing wrong, is getting on the nerves of the health authority.

There can't be a day that goes by where I haven't thought what it would be like to be out of this situation, whatever that may mean. If it wasn't for my family I would have opted out, in one way or another, long ago.

At the moment I wouldn't give those bastards, who call themselves colleagues, the satisfaction of seeing my permanent demise.

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