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Duvet days, the pantomine baddies of the NHS and the secret to the perfect female face

Our daily digest of news headlines from Friday 18 December 2009.

By Lilian Anekwe

Our daily digest of news headlines from Friday 18 December 2009.

The merriment and high jinks that featured at last night's Pulse Towers Christmas Party is fading in the memory and it's time to face up to the brutal realities of today's health stories.

The Daily Mirror says 44% of workers will choose to throw a sickie today and stay under the duvet to recover from all their Christmas revelry, so the fact I battled my way through the snow to bring you today's round up means I'm in the top 56% most dedicated people in the country. And so are you, so well done us.

Now that the British Airways strike has been called off – at least for now – the newspapers need other pantomime baddies, and who's that slinking on stage left? Why, it's lawyers who fight litigation cases against the NHS on a ‘no win no fee' basis, but who can end up pocketing fees as much as ten times higher than the payouts awarded to patients. All together now: boo!

And sidling on from stage right, ladies and gents, are NHS managers, who the Daily Telegraph reports earned 1.7m in bonuses – that's an average of £8,000 each – this year, all while the NHS was subject to a series of brutal cuts in funding. Hiss!!

A good old-fashioned miracle cures next: the Sun Says a drug implant that can protect against skin cancer has been approved in the US and could get a UK licence in 2010.

And lastly, ‘scientists' who have nothing better to do than feed the Daily Mail wacky stories have discovered the formula for the best-proportioned, most attractive face. And sorry fellas, but it only applies to ladies.

Apparently the secret is that the distance from pupil to pupil should be 46% of the width of her face, and the distance from the pupils to the midpoint of her mouth should be 36% of the length of her face. Hollywood superstars Jessica Alba and Megan Fox all have the perfect ratio. As well as flawless acting ability, I'm sure.

Daily Digest

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