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CAMHS won't see you now

F word for GP ­ and not from a stroppy patient

Dr Christopher Pelton

Telford, Shropshire

I, Fanconi-de-Toni [C3003]di Guglielmo [B 670-1], was born in Vatican City [13dj] where religious observance is strict [135E3] and I suffered cultural deprivation[13HL-3].

My wife committed adultery [13HV3-2]. I am divorced [1334], lonely [1B1K], in debt [13K10] and a private detective [09Z6]. I have been living rough [13FL].

My job details [13JU] were surveillance of contact [65S1] and risk assessment [38B]. I was feeling stressed [1B1T] and restless [1B1O]; there had been accidents due to hot weather [TE00]. The global delay [E2F5-1] and slow system speed [EMISSP3] caused me irritability and anger [R0028].

My taxi driver [0I36] was a poor historian [1163] who created a passive smoking risk [13WF4]. He had a bereavement reaction [E2900-1] since death of wife [13MG] in a spacecraft launching pad accident [T550]. He is also a diver [0H1I-1] who had sustained a moray eel bite [TE631].

He was unfit to drive [692B] so I wanted to get out, but I had fear of [1B1H-1] fall from car in street [T179].

I reached the travel destination [EGTONTR2] ­ a house liable to vandalism [13EE] in an area with disorders of accommodation [F475] and poor housing [13E-1]. In the upper-floor flat [13E9] they offered massage [855], an 'adult' screening [69P] and God only knows [R2yz-1].

Having received the usual warning given [8CD] by security guard [09Z-2], I entered. It was overcrowded in house [13E6]. The barman-cocktail bar [0A43]- greeted me with poor eye contact [13o2].

Scanning [7M372] the room, I saw social drinkers [136J], drunkenness [E250-1], some unable to stand [16G]; a fashion model [0497] with a dishonourable discharge [13JR-6] and poor dressing ability [395].

There were female prostitutes [0AK1] about whom I had guilty ideas [1BF] of an improved sex life [1AB8], although frightened [1B1H] of suspected drug abuse [1J1].

There was a singer [0463] in ecstatic mood [1S41] with heavy metal in blood [R1y00] who hardly noticed his noise-induced deafness [F5812-1].

Hoping for sudden financial gain [13K5] and aware of my compulsive gambling [Eu630-1], I approached [7M1] a croupier [0AZ3]. Luckily the procedure stopped [8CT] with help of a moral welfare worker [03A4].

Moving away [13IR], I spotted [A820] my target ­ a theatrical agent [0493] sitting [22B4-1] on a matrix seat [8D9B1]. Traumatic shock [SKO4]! ­ a handgun discharge, occurrence at unspecified place [U11Cy]. I thought it was an event of undetermined intent [U4] until he collapsed [224] ­ instantaneous death [R211].

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