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At the heart of general practice since 1960

Gimme, gimme, gimme

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GPs writhe around in cash, gallop to work on a horse and pack their children off to prep school, it has been revealed.

The claims were made after it came to light that GPs, already well-heeled at the tax payers expense, are actually moonlighting as fake A and E doctors.

‘GPs have absolutely hit the jackpot,’ sayid one critic. ‘Not content with raking in squillions in general practice they now want to rake in zillions in A and E’ - and according to the latest economic analysis: ‘A zillion is like the biggest number you can think of so they must have enormous rakes’

Multi-millionaire Dr Jim Donald says: ‘I like to call my house a palace, not because it’s a semi with a Jacuzzi corner bath and a loft conversion, I call it a palace because it is actually a palace!’ He goes on to say: ‘Imagine a ball pit filled with readies and an oversized toddler jumping feet first into it, now stop imagining it because that’s what I do every evening.’

Speaking off the record he added: ‘I like the simple things in life. I appreciate the reassuring ting of crystal and I enjoy tipping all of my cash out onto my immense lawn and blowing it around with one of those leaf blower things.  Have you ever seen a two hundred pound note? No of course you haven’t, that’s because I’ve got them all!’

‘We believe that the reality created by the British press about doctor’s earnings may be somewhat removed from the truth,’ said one Government minister, ‘but who cares about the truth when the general public’s perception is all that counts.’

 Dr Kevin Hinkley is a GP in Aberdeen.

Readers' comments (6)

  • Back here in the real world the reality is a little different... I thought I'd be OK once I got my CCT but what with playing my own employers NI and extortionate pension, inflated practice loan (due to property boom), petrol for visits, high childcare costs due to long days and thousands in defence fees, there is actually not that much left to live on at the end of the month - (Oh and did I mention the size of the cash flow planning needed for tax?) I can't wait for the day when privatization finally comes and I get paid market rates for my work, maybe then I won't lie awake at night worrying about bankruptcy.

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  • Here here

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  • Dont forget the take take take of the new improve NHS pension for GPs

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  • 2:47pm ...absolutely

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  • Plenty of folks have been showing us the maths. Our take home pay is between £2.50 to £ 4.00 per consultation.
    Take £3.00 x 40 consultation per day = 120 add 80 for paperwork [ 40% of workload] = £200 x 20 days x 12 months = take home £ 48000. Gross pay = £120000 as you keep about 40 pence to the pound.

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  • sad sad state of affairs

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