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GPs go forth

Government announces money is overrated

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The Government has announced that money is over-rated and that having lots of it no longer makes you happy.

‘I welcome this announcement,’ says a conservative back-bencher. ‘We used to think that someone who was paid fifty thousand a year was fifty thousand times happier than someone who wasn’t paid anything, but now we know that this isn’t true, so we’re not going to bother paying junior doctors anymore. We’re just going to tell them how special they are instead.

We think it’s important that GP trainees realise that money won’t make them happy and we certainly don’t want them thinking that getting on the property ladder or paying off their student loans or going on a much deserved holiday after their exams or even buying a matching set of Jamie Oliver saucepans is going to help. We want them to work for a pat on the head and a mug that says ‘I’m great’ on it.’

Katy, a confused GP trainee said: ‘I thought everybody did it this way. Last week I ordered a cup of coffee and a chocolate muffin and after telling the waitress how special she was I left the shop without paying. For some reason they called the cops on me.’

Dr Kevin Hinkley is a GP in Edinburgh

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