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GP dismisses patient's ADHD self-diagnosis

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'I went to see my GP with my ADHD self-reporting scale and he just threw it in the bin,' says someone who patently doesn’t have ADHD.

Joel is 19, he’s a bit of a dick, he can’t organise himself, he’s always losing his keys and he forgot to buy his soon-to-be ex-girlfriend a birthday present; so he did an online test to find out what was going on.

'I’ve always been special,' says Joel, 'At school I ran around a lot and threw stones at cars and I always found maths really really boring. Mainly because I couldn’t do it. But since leaving school I’ve forged a career as a part-time DJ and I prefer UK hard house blended with the bursting rhythms of Dutch techno hardcore to ordinary human conversation.'

When Joel isn’t DJing he’s masturbating and when he’s not doing that he’s dreaming of what he’ll do when he eventually becomes famous.

Attention deficit expert Prof Candid says: 'Joel is typical. But what I’d say to Joel is that if you have the patience to complete a 300 page online questionnaire it probably means you don’t have ADHD. Conversely, if you’ve ever filled out an online psychopath test it probably means that you are definitely a psychopath'

Prof Candid’s advice to Joel is to man up. 

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Readers' comments (15)

  • Superb

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  • wonderful! as usual!

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  • I get it from GPs perspective - but in danger of getting close to dismissive of the very real problems that ADHD can cause. A bit too close to a powerful group ( GPs) taking a bullying attitude to those with neurological difference that causes disability in our current society.

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  • ^^^^^^^
    You need a holiday!

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  • And why does our gallows humour have to be constantly dissected by other HCPs and do-gooders. Get a flipping life!

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  • Im pretty sure this article is making fun of people who dont have ADHD! Thats the whole point isnt it. Get a sense of humour!

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  • "A surreal look at the NHS from Dr Kevin Hinkley"
    ---
    What's surreal about this puerile piece?

    One can but trust that you will donate any fee you got from writing this to a suitable charity?

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  • Anonymous | Salaried GP 04 Oct 2016 4:11pm

    Im pretty sure this article is making fun of people who dont have ADHD! Thats the whole point isnt it. Get a sense of humour! (sic)
    --------
    Gosh, the old "Get a sense of humour." ploy. It was much in use when ppl started to challenge mouthy racists and misogynists.
    The response was often a sharp kick in the testicles, accompanied by "That was my applause."

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  • I take a pretty dim view of Decimus Lunius luvenalis - this is one of his other well judged comments.


    So many years treating your patients like low IQ cattle. Throwing us out at 8 days notice 'coz we asked for a second opinion. So many cases when we had to beg and beg and beg for a reference on to a consultant which confirmed that we had cancer. Charging us £££ for a simple letter to prove we've been very ill.
    And you're surprized that some of us don't think that you can walk on CO(NH2)2

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  • @Shaba Nabi

    Because what passes for normal "GP culture" would be considered unprofessional and abusive in other areas of people-facing work.

    You all may be inured to the frequent bullying of different patient groups but suicide is the most common cause of death among young men - so how comfortable do you think a young guy who identifies with this "character" would feel about consulting with GPs who hold these kind of derisive attitudes towards patients?

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