Head lice: advising patients on the treatment options
Jobhunter explains how joining the British Out of Hours Army (BOOHA) will let you live life to the full
See the world
The world is a very big place and with BOOHA you will get to see a lot of it.
On adventure training in a south London no-go area, ducking missiles on council estates in Birmingham, on active combat against substance-abusing snipers in Liverpool, you will experience a world few in-hours doctors can even imagine.
Be part of a team
Whatever the challenge, you won't face it alone. BOOHA armoured vehicles are driven by operatives experienced in tackling the roughest terrain.
Potholes in Peterborough, Tesco trolleys in Tyneside no obstacle is too obstinate for them.
Sharps disposal experts are just a phone call away to deal with those tricky maverick ampoules, and your rear will
be protected by members of the crack King's Own Pharmaceutical Fusiliers driving pantechnicons bristling with the latest high-tech equipment from the National Out of Hours Formulary.
Semi-automatic enema guns, febrile-seeking amoxycillin missiles and remote control anti-emetic grenades will all be at your command.
Work hard then play hard
BOOHA sports are not just about tossing the proctoscope, playing catheter-bag football and lifting Gladstone bags (although we have world-class competitors in all these fields).
As part of your adventure training you might learn to absail down high-rise blocks, white-water raft along urine-soaked pavements at chucking-out time, and engage in hand-to-hand combat with three-year-olds who do not want to have their ears examined.
Of course well-being involves more than just physical exercise. Our catering contract with McBurger's Fast Foods means that you will dine daily on handcrafted cheeseburgers and fries, washed down with gallons of polystyrene-flavoured coffee, while parked on some of the finest garage forecourts in the United Kingdom.
Learn new skills
Even if you don't eventually want to be an in-hours GP, the skills you will learn during your training will set you in good stead for civvy street.
Whether tackling pensioners armed with zimmer frames, trying to repair mobile phones that have been thrown out of a window, or changing slashed tyres under a hail of lager cans, you will develop abilities that you will find useful in many aspects of your future life.
The BOOHA training college is an internationally-recognised teaching institution covering all areas of out-of-hours care, from forging call sheets to telling sob stories to rota managers.
Wars may be fought with weapons...
....But they are won by men and women. Minor ailments and self-limiting diseases are our enemies, and they are active 24 hours a day. The battle does not stop when our in-hours colleagues lock their surgery doors.
If you're the sort of person who wants to be in the thick of the action, playing a key part in our nation's defence against coughs, colds, acute dandruff and nail infections...
JOIN THE BRITISH OUT OF HOURS
Dr Laurence Knott is a GP in Enfield