Herpes and warts
Where? 'Royal Tunbridge Wells lies at the heart of one of the most scenic stretches of countryside in England. In Georgian times this popular spa town gained a reputation as the place to see and be seen among royalty and fashionable members of the aristocracy.'
Sounds posh? It is. Royal Tunbridge Wells has traded on its regal reputation since 1606 when a noble dandy discovered the curative effects of the waters after a heavy night on the sauce.
Schools: Rose Hill is a mixed independent prep school which was described as 'happy and successful' in its last inspection report. Kent College Girls School sees 71 per cent of students getting A-B grades at A-level.
Famous residents: An eclectic mix of residents have graced Tunbridge Wells including the Yardbird's Jeff Beck, Shane McGowan, Kelly Holmes, Joanna Lumley and William Makepeace Thackeray.
Anything else? Lawrence of Arabia's Mr Dryden famously said: 'Me, your Highness? On the whole, I wish I'd stayed in Tunbridge Wells.'
Work? There are about 37 GPs working in 13 practices under South West Kent PCT.
Homes? £465,000 buys you a 'recently refurbished and attractive' four-bedroom 1930s house complete with off-road parking for several cars and a 140-foot garden.
Leisure: Once you're tired of lapping up the local mineral water at the Chalybeate spring, Tunbridge Wells has a higher concentration of castles and gardens to visit then any area in the UK, including those once belonging to Winston Churchill, Vita Sackville West and Anne Boleyn.
From the local press: 'More than 100 adults turned up for a World Asthma Day event at Nuffield Hospital to find out more about the debilitating condition.' Kent Online, May 17