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GPs pen ‘Santa Baby’ wish list to rescue general practice

GPs in the South West have penned a seasonal Christmas list of gifts to save general practice, set to the tune of Eartha Kitt’s ‘Santa Baby’.

Beginning with an apology to Ms Kitt, and accompanied by explanatory notes for any GPs not up to speed on the many fronts of the crisis in general practice, Devon LMC have an eight verse wishlist for Santa to ‘rescue general practice tonight’.

With workforce woes seeing colleagues ‘retiring, emigrating, and gone for good’, bringing them back is top of the Christmas list, accompanied by the deed to a ‘building so fine’ and the end of CQC price hikes but the is unequivocal that Christmas 2016 will be too late.

It ends with a list of solutions, including a serious GP recruitment campaign after this year’s attempt tried to entice prospective GPs with a video detailing how they can expect to fill out non-contractual skydiving forms.

The full song reads:

Santa baby, please save my practice, answer a plea for me;

Been an awful good girl, Santa baby,

So rescue General Practice tonight.

 

Santa baby, just eight percent of NHS spend spells end;

We need more of the cake; Santa baby,

So rescue General Practice tonight.

 

Think of all the staff I’ve missed;

Think of all the doctors that Jeremy’s dissed;

Retiring, emigrating, gone for good… to bring them back is top of my Christmas list.

 

Santa baby, morale is shot and really that’s what we’ve got;

Been an angel all year; Santa baby,

So rescue General Practice tonight.

 

Santa honey, one little thing I really need…

The deed… to a building so fine, Santa baby,

So rescue General Practice tonight.

 

Santa cutie, the CQC is cluttering our decks with checks;

Can you get them to stop, Santa cutie,

and rescue General Practice tonight.

 

Come and trim my Christmas tree with a change of heart from our Jeremy;

I really do believe in you;

Let’s see if you believe in me…

 

Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing… Suing…

Crown protection we need; Santa baby,

So rescue General Practice tonight.

 

Rescue General Practice tonight

Hurry, tonight!