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I know exactly what I want to spend my personal health budget on

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Dear NHS,

I’m not feeling too well at the moment, I’ve got a dicky thyroid and a weak ankle, so I’m writing to let you know that I want to spend my personal health budget on the following:

1 x replacement pair of curtains (46” x 54”). Ever since my wife, Mrs S, pointed out that the vase and flower design on our bedroom curtains looks just like a grinning skull wearing a bonnet I haven’t been able to sleep. This has wreaked havoc with my ankles.

1 x self-help book and Kindle. I once read a self-help book and I found it really helpful. It was called ‘You, Your Thyroid, Euthyroid and You’. I just wish I could remember who had written it.

1 x tube of ankle cream (for my ankles)

1 x trip to Birmingham. (Mrs S has always fancied a trip there, not for the canals but for the shopping! Typical! Besides it would be good for my ankle) 

1 x all-in-one bubble-wrap body suit for hours of self-indulgent physio. If this hasn’t been invented yet, I think the NHS should get on to it.

1 x seasonal goitre holder (cotton mix; washable). Pretty self-explanatory really.

1 x life-size waxworks mannequin of Frank Bruno. My wife is a big fan and I can’t wait to see the look on her face when she comes back from Bingo and switches on the hall light to be confronted by this boxing legend! Gloves up!

2 x tickets to see an offensive comedian. Preferably one that makes crude jokes about every day life, period pains and The Holocaust, because as you know laughter is the best medicine.

1 x new house. Must be near to the pharmacy (for easy collection of my thyroid tablets) and within drivable distance of an international airport.

Quite an impressive list wouldn’t you say?  

Please send them over to me soon, I can’t wait to rip open my parcels.

Mr S

Dr Kevin Hinkley is a GP in Edinburgh

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Readers' comments (7)

  • Bet you recover more quickly than if Big Pharma throws their pills down your throat! Good luck!

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  • If it helps the patient then why not!

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  • Not an exhausting list for patient choice.

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  • Very good, hilarious.

    I agree, laughter is the best medicine - doesn't seem to work for impotence though

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  • strange, bizarre, brilliant, love this blog.

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  • Very funny!


    @ 8.36

    I'm guessing that's tongue in cheek. Any chance you could hand over George W Bush, Rumsfeld and co to the Hague International War Crimes Court along with our very own Tony Blair?

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  • I am a Personal Health Budget user, and I am so disappointed that people are looking at this in a very one sided way. Where is the money coming from you are asking, well you are already providing the money, each time you send me to someone for support in my life such as a nurse or a Physio or providing home care. That is the money we are talking about. As a person who has long term conditions and as someone who works, please don't place me under the label people have previously stated. Yes I am on the highest level of Disability Living Allowance but I don't receive benefits. I used to but now I am able with my support to use access to work to earn. So yes I am a Tax Payer and have been all my life. You send me to a Physio who will work with me to get me back to being able to move more easily, but that it, the treatment comes to an end, I come back to you to ask for more and have to go on a waiting list for more support. Now I am able to purchase that support in Remedial Massage,. My purchase is from someone who was taught their job by Phyiso Teachers at University. I am able to purchase at a weekly cost my "Physio" without having to come back to you to ask you to purchase more Physio each time I need it. I am able to purchase my care via Personal Assistants to work with me in a way I need so that I don't have to wait for a carer to arrive to get me out of bed. When I was in hospital for 3 weeks due to breaking bones, I was able to use my PA to assist me in getting washed and dressed, rather than using the Nursing staff who are already overstretched, who don't have the time to look after my additional needs as well as the reason I was there.
    If my needs change I am in contact with Continuing Health Care who assess my needs. That is where the Money comes from, every day people are receiving help because they need it. It is not new money. If my condition is assessed as needing Continuing Health Care, that money is accounted for. If I was needing Social Care by being assessed, that is where Social Care money is provided. I could then receive a Personal Budget to choose the care and support I need. If I am not assessed as needing that, then I do not get the support.
    So taking my long term Physio as an example would you allow someone the opportunity to receive regular remedial massage if it kept them mobile or would you insist on them having to see you and keep requesting Physio, which may make people take sick leave because they can't work?
    This is just one example of lots of different stories. Many people have their stories about how a Personal Health Budget has helped them. yes I have more this is just the tip of the iceberg.
    How long would you accept waiting to go to the toilet, because you don't have a commode and your stairlift is broken and you have to wait? Is 24 hours acceptable to you? Would you accept being told that you have to go into a Nursing home because you need an electric bed, and you have to wait 1 week to be assessed by an Occupational Therapist for a new stairlift? Where is that money coming from? How much would 1 week of Nursing Home cost NHS money, well with my Personal Health Budget and talking to Continuing Health Care Team we bought a reconditioned Stairlift. I was able to access my toilet and bed within 24 hours. Start thinking outside of the box.

    There are lots of people who have thought outside the box. It's not extra money, it's a different way of using your money.

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