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If only doctors could go without pay, the NHS would save a fortune

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Ministers have worked out that, if only doctors could go without pay, the NHS would save a fortune.

One minister reported: "We were in the pub doing some dead hard sums on the back of a beer mat when Dave says, 'Hang on lads, aren’t we missing the obvious here? Just because doctors can resuscitate your aunty and diagnose you with Cushing’s doesn’t mean we have to pay them, does it?'"

It was then agreed that greedy doctors should stop asking for money in exchange for an honest day's work.

"If only they would see sense and make this small concession we wouldn’t have to fart about with QOF targets and the MPIG anymore," said another minister.

He went on to add: "After his eureka moment, Dave got all excited and said, 'lads, think about it, we could save trillions! In fact we could save more than trillions! Oh, if only I could remember what comes after trillions. And then we spent the rest of the night getting drunk and trying to remember what comes after trillions, we think it might be gazillions, but then again that might be some kind of lizard.'"

The minister concluded: "Look – we know it's a fact that GPs are hard working and consciousness, and care passionately about their patients. But then again, you can prove anything with facts, can't you?"

Dr Kevin Hinkley is a GP in Aberdeen

 

Readers' comments (5)

  • Nhsfatcat

    We're already paid less in real terms, so let's go for the pub offer before we have to pay to go to work :)

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  • So is virtually everyone else who is actually employed by the NHS. So whats your point?

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  • these are the comments of insane people under the influence of alcohol and be ignored.

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  • The National Charity Service - the current NHS is already well on it's way there!

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  • Nhsfatcat

    Chris Mcmurray, my point was a flipant extension of logic.
    There isn't an exodus of GPs from the NHS as we all can see the need for pay restraint in the public sector but we aren't employees, we are employers and do not like to see our business income/expenses ratios plummeting when we're working harder than ever to acheive pointless targets and to satisfy increasing demand for services. The logical extension to this is clear for all to see.

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