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Jeremy Hunt is in fact a cyborg sent to destroy the NHS

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Rumours that Jeremy Hunt is in fact an insane cyborg sent by the Tories of the future to destroy what’s left of the NHS have been confirmed today.

Scientists working at a top secret lab identified a microchip found in one of Jeremy’s socks as a neural-net processor designed by the futuristic corporation Skynet.

‘This is truly remarkable,’ says one of the scientists as he held the microchip up to the light.’It’s beautifully designed and it confirms what we always thought. The Tories, increasingly frustrated that they can’t just destroy the NHS overnight sent the cyborg from the distant future and programmed it with the single, ruthless mission to destroy the health service. And it absolutely will not stop, ever.  I just hope he doesn’t get his hands on a plasma rifle otherwise we’re all f*cked.’

Jeremy, who was seen wandering around London asking bemused tourists for their clothes, their boots and their motorcycles had nothing to say other than ‘Come with me if you want to live’.

Dr Kevin Hinkley is a GP in Edinburgh

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Readers' comments (4)

  • Made me snort my coffee! I needed a laugh to get me through the day!!

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  • It's unlikely that Hunt would say "come with me if you want to live": All recorded uses of this phrase by a Terminator relate to a T-850 re-engineered to protect humans.

    For a full history of the phrase and its usage, See http://terminator.wikia.com/wiki/Come_with_me_if_you_want_to_live

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  • Gotta admit though ....an excellent Extermination machine, with no fear or remorse....who cannot be reasoned or bargained with!

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  • Vinci Ho

    More interesting question :
    Who is John Connor then? Nigel? Chaand?
    And who is Sarah Connor ? Maureen?? Clare????

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