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Lung function testing

Dr Noel O'Kelly passes on tips gained from working as a GPwSI in respiratory medicine in Spilsby, Lincs

Dr Noel O'Kelly passes on tips gained from working as a GPwSI in respiratory medicine in Spilsby, Lincs

Jobhunter has agreed a multiple-choice questionnaire with the powers that be that guarantees revalidation if answered successfully

1 How many patients have you killed this year?

a None

b I intercepted the script before it got to the chemist

c I'm not answering on the grounds it may incriminate me

2 Current posts held:

a General practice only

b Chair of the LMC, PEC member, chair of the PCT's diabetes, ischaemic heart disease and tennis elbow working groups, medical adviser on alcohol intake to the PCT chief executive

c Managing director, Healthcare Finance Offshore Charitable Trust

3 Other professional groups


b Doctors For World Peace, Doctors for the Afflicted, World Society of Self-Destructing Workaholics

c Institute of Perfectly Legal Financial Transactions, Ex-Parkhurst Prisoners Relief Fund Committee

4 Outside interests

a Spending time with the family, opera, antiques

b I don't understand the question

c Financial management of an entirely reputable offshore charitable trust

5 Personal Development Plan

a I'd like further training in dermatology, orthopaedics

b I need help in everything; every day I scour the journals and the internet for new developments; it's all happening too fast; please help me

c I'd like to develop my skills in ink erasure technology, hard disk washing, and counter-interrogation psychology

6 What safeguards are in place to ensure propriety in your financial and commercial affairs

a Financial management is via the practice manager, appropriate records and accounts maintained

b Record of income and expenditure written on the back of my hand between meetings

c My accountant will be providing a full response to this question

7 Do you do trainer work?

a I am a GP trainer and tutor

b I hold free informal training sessions for undergraduates, PLAB students and anyone else who wants to come between 10-12 every evening

c You too can make a fortune on the Stock Exchange; just send £30 for my free booklet

8 How has your clinical care improved since last year?

a The enhanced services clinics I hold have broadened my horizons

b Compared to this week's guidelines or last week's?

c I spend more time with my patients, especially those who need investment advice


Mainly As: You have failed. No one could be that perfect. You will be banned from making a further application in this life, and the next.

Mainly Bs: You have failed, but you are remedial. Get a life, get a spouse, go on a time management course and try again in six months.

Mainly Cs: Congratulations! You are revalidated for eternity.

And many thanks for your extremely generous donation to the Revalidation Assessors' Retirement Fund.

Dr Laurence Knott is a GP in Enfield, Middlesex

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