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Medics of the Universe, unite against these fatuous slogans

In the difficult, compromised and resource-limited real world, GPs can never be gold-standard, world-class, Medics of the Universe, so ministers and managers should stop coming up with these fatuous phrases for their latest idiotic initiatives.

In the difficult, compromised and resource-limited real world, GPs can never be gold-standard, world-class, Medics of the Universe, so ministers and managers should stop coming up with these fatuous phrases for their latest idiotic initiatives.



It's quiz time, and here are your questions:

1 What standard of Primary Care Commissioning should we aspire to?
2 A high quality community palliative care programme is known as a - - framework?
3 If you specialise in and evangelise over a certain clinical area you are what?

Answers:

1 World Class
2 Gold standard
3 A champion

I sincerely hope you got all those wrong and that, now you've read the answers, you're feeling sick, just like me.

They're all genuine.

What is it with this epidemic of bloated, breast-beating, bonkers descriptions? It's spreading, too – we've just had a document from our PCT about ‘World Class Diabetic Care'.

Who makes up these ridiculous, meaningless phrases? And how can people be so fatuous as to adopt them?

This epidemic of desperate aggrandisement serves only to illustrate that we're led and regulated by people who bang their particular drum so hard that they're deaf to the realities of the real world – and blind to the vacuousness of their slogans. And stupid.

So I'd like to offer my own answers to the above:

1 It doesn't matter as no one gives a toss about PBC.
2 Bog standard.
3 A tosser.

The truth is, as all GPs know, the best we can aspire to given the constraints of time, system and sanity is not World Class, Gold Standard or Champion-level, but just above average.

And I sincerely hope that this nauseating crop of self important nonsense goes the same way as ‘Beacon practices'. Remember them? No, me neither.

Copperfeld blog

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