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MPs' expense fiddles are all GPs' fault (for making them jealous!)

Pulse has now uncovered evidence of what the Daily Mail’s editorial team no doubt secretly knew all along – that the litany of expenses fiddles perpetrated by MPs are in fact all GPs’ fault.

By Steve Nowottny

Pulse has now uncovered evidence of what the Daily Mail's editorial team no doubt secretly knew all along – that the litany of expenses fiddles perpetrated by MPs are in fact all GPs' fault.



For weeks, the papers have been full of stories about their high-living ways and fat cat expenses. For weeks, the headlines have demanded justice on behalf of the outraged taxpayer. And for weeks, GPs have been wondering – didn't that use to be us?

Wonder no longer, for Pulse has now uncovered evidence of what the Daily Mail's editorial team secretly knew all along – it's all GPs' fault.

Check out this report in 'The Market Oracle'', which, using the kind of mathematical wizardy and financial acumen which has made investment banks the success story they are today, claims – nay, definitively proves - that family doctors are in fact the main culprits in the ongoing expenses scandal.

‘How could this happen?' the article asks. ‘Unfortunately this was as a consequence of the now infamous GP contracts where basically devious greedy GPs hoodwinked gullible incompetent Labour government health ministers into signing up to contracts which were meant to deliver greater value for money for the tax payer but were designed to do the opposite and resulted in GP's pay doubling whilst at the same time cutting back on hours worked.

‘This was not only a total fiasco for the nations health and finances but also ignited jealousy amongst MPs that directly led to the adoption of the policy of claiming expenses to the maximum so as to fill the ever widening gap between MP's and NHS GPs.'

Apart from his unforgivably awful use of apostrophes, The Market Oracle also displays somewhat scant knowledge of the workings of the GP pay system, claiming as he does that 'GP's decided to award themselves pay hikes of more than 30% per annum at tax payers expense'. And then presumably thought, like any avaricious gobbler-up of public funds would, 'Oooh, we've gone a bit far. We'd best freeze our income for three years now to even it up a bit'. Hmmm...

Anway, here comes the science bit:



So, the moral of the story for the medical profession is clear, Dr Fat Cat. Next time you want the surgery moat cleaning, you can jolly well do it yourself.

Proof at last: how GPs are to blame for the MPs' expenses scandal Proof at last: how GPs are to blame for the MPs' expenses scandal By Steve Nowottny Recent posts

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