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Newly trained doctors to be tied up and kept in Jeremy Hunt's basement

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'Newly trained doctors to be tied up and kept in my basement' says Jeremy Hunt.

'Medical students train at the tax payers’ expense and it’s the only way we can keep the little bastards in the country,' says Mr Hunt, 'We don’t want them running off to Australia where they might be appreciated.'

When it was suggested to Jeremy that the whole tying-up–and-keeping-them-in-the–basement thing must be some kind of dark metaphor he denied it and confirmed that he’d already ordered in a job lot of cable ties and had sunk a well in to the floor of his basement.

Once the junior doctors are imprisoned, Mr Hunt plans to lower a job contract down to them in a basket.

'It does what it is told. It signs the contract and it puts the contract back into the basket,' he warned.

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Readers' comments (10)

  • Ha Ha! Genius!

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  • Mr Mephisto

    Does Mr Hunt have any Belgian relatives?

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  • If he treated GP's with the respect they deserve and tied talking to them instead of dictating from behind his office door, perhaps GP's wouldn't want to go off anywhere!

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  • It rubs the lotion on its skin - but only if it uses a cost effective emollient.

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  • LOL at 12.44pm

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  • sadly it will be in the 2020 manifesto.

    at least the juniors get the basement - wait till you see what he has planned for GPs ...

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  • deliciously baaaamy! Whoops should have kept that lamb silent

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  • Please somebody send this story to Mr Hunt

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  • I think he's more of a Hannibal Lecter!

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  • Laugh out loud funny! Think I'll print it off and pin it on my wall at work......it'll definitely cheer me up at the end of another epic 12/13 hour day.

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