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CAMHS won't see you now

Paramedics should ring patients at half-hourly intervals to ease pressure on GPs

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From: T Copperfield

To: All ambulance services

Subject: Emergency preparedness, resilience and response

General practice services are experiencing unprecedented pressure, which means GPs are struggling to cope with workload within the timeframe demanded by patients (ie by yesterday).

Please could you make every effort:

- To advise all patients you encounter that calling the GP is the absolute last resort for all parties.

- To proactively approach patients who might be at risk of requiring primary care services to help them access alternative help. We’d suggest you simply drive up and down the streets playing a jingle, like the ice cream man, and escort all takers to A&E.

- To telephone particularly vulnerable patients at half hourly intervals to ask if they’d like an ambulance.

- To pop in during your lunch hour on those you’ve recently brought home to check that they’re okay, and, in particular, that they’re not just about to call their GP. If this is the case, mobilise all necessary services but disconnect their phone.

The public message we’re sending out via Twitter, social media sites and websites is as follows: ‘

‘GP services are too precious to be dealing with the likes of you. Use the ambulance services instead - it’s not like they’re busy. Give them a ring, even if you just need a lift home from the pub. They’re bored and lonely, you’d be doing them a favour. Go on. Keep GP services for those who really need them, like people with a hacking cough or ear wax.’


Dr Tony Copperfield

Dr Tony Copperfield is a GP in Essex. You can follow him on Twitter @DocCopperfield 

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Readers' comments (7)

  • Spot on as usual.

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  • can you please make a similar article to call the MP rather than the ambulance services.
    the above was brilliant

    thank you

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  • Marvellous Tony. As my annual act of Christmas rebellion, I have printed out and faxed to our MP as a suggestion for the manifesto. I'm long past caring if he reads it or not.

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  • Excellent! Unfortunately this satire will/would be entirely lost on those to whom it is directed.

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  • Love the man. Should be in politics so he could be looking after GP's. All his wisdom is wasted on patients.

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  • we should ring hunt at 1/2 hourly intervals to see if he could do some work

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  • If onlY this was satire ;)

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From: Copperfield

Dr Tony Copperfield is a jobbing GP in Essex with more than a few chips on his shoulder