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Patronising patients is good for them

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A leading think tank argues that patronising patients is good for them.  

The author of the report says: 'If patients keep their blood sugars down or lose weight then they should be patted on the head and given a whopping great big ice cream.'

The report comes after an extensive public consultation exercise which highlighted how expecting patients to take personal responsibility for their health in order to prevent a premature and agonising death has become rather old-fashioned.

The author continues: 'We think giving patients an ice cream or promising to put up their pocket money will motivate more of them to quit smoking than banging on about lung cancer ever did.'

Reaction was sought from Dave, a badly behaved diabetic from Crewe: 'If my doctor had promised me a treat based on my HbA1c then I like to think I’d still have both of my eyes. If the choice was ice-cream or death then mine would definitely be vanilla.'

The author concluded the report by saying: 'Thinktanks like ours are in the business of dreaming up crap ideas, but our long term strategy is to turn at least one of these crap ideas into a big dollop of real world bullsh*t.'

Dr Kevin Hinkley is a GP in Aberdeen.

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