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'Speak up' means 'Shut up' learns NHS England

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NHS England has run out of ideas so it took a trip to North Korea.  

Kim Jong Un lives in a pleasure palace in Ryongsong. Surrounded by guards and worshippers his people regard him as a living deity. NHS England went out to meet the plump dictator to get some ideas.

'If you’re prepared to look past the hero worship, the crazy nuclear programme, the purges and the executions then Kim has actually got some pretty good ideas,' admits NHS England. 

'Despite his hectic schedule, which includes attending parades, driving his tank and being photo-shopped doing various heroic deeds, we were able to have a frank exchange of ideas with him.'

One of those ideas was the 'Speak up Guardian'.

The NHS England spokesperson added: 'We sat on the floor in front of him and the great leader explained to us that the "Speak Up Guardian" is actually the "Shut Up Guardian". People will be so frightened of the Guardian that they’ll spend most of their working lives avoiding each other. The dear leader explained to us that frightened, isolated workers are much easier to control than confident empowered ones. Speak up, he explained, actually means shut up'. 

Kim Jong Un also suggested that NHS England should write 'freedom is slavery' at the bottom of all their letters and strongly advised that anyone employed by the NHS should get the same silly haircut as him. 

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