This site is intended for health professionals only

At the heart of general practice since 1960

There'll be no NHS constitutional rights in my surgery

Experience tells us that idiots whose opening gambit is “I know my rights” invariably don’t.

Experience tells us that idiots whose opening gambit is "I know my rights" invariably don't.



The halfwit, half cut dads who think I'm going to rush over to their tower block in the War Zone at three in the morning because Britney has thrown up over her pink and white teddy. The mum who reckons that her kid's barely visible patch of dry skin qualifies her for a lifetime supply of free moisturiser. The red-headed idiot who threatens to sue if one of his freckles turns cancerous in the 2040's because I didn't organise an urgent dermatology appointment rather than recommend the use of a high-factor sunscreen.

As of now, with the publication of the NHS Constitution, their rights are written down so that they can ask a friend who can read and write to knock out a claim for compensation.

Alongside those rights, of course, there are responsibilities. To register with a GP to get access to NHS care, to keep or cancel appointments, to treat NHS staff with respect and to comply with prescribed treatment courses or explain the difficulties they are having doing so.

Of course the penalties for neglecting these responsibilities are stringent. Stringent as defined in the DoH dictionary, viz. non-existent. After all, we don't want to annoy the drunken, violent, inconsiderate, self-serving voter in the street now do we?

Bollocks to ‘em. They can stick their constitution as far as a rolled up copy will reach.

Guardian readers were told that the new constitution will bring to an end the era of end of 'Doctor knows best' . Not in my consulting room it won't.

"They can stick their constitution as far as a rolled up copy will reach."

Copperfield blog Recent posts

Trust Aussies to find alcohol improves sexual performance

My personal consultation checklist

'Don't be too nice to patients.' It's what I've said all along!

We're too stupid to hand out chlamydia testing kits

I'm banning NRT for January

European GPs must be seriously in the mierda

Bullying GPs into following guidelines is not NICE

Rate this article 

Click to rate

  • 1 star out of 5
  • 2 stars out of 5
  • 3 stars out of 5
  • 4 stars out of 5
  • 5 stars out of 5

0 out of 5 stars

Have your say