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NHS England bids to attract extraterrestrial GPs

Through the K Hole

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NHS England is looking to outer space to recruit GPs, it has emerged. 

In a desperate act to address the workforce crisis, NHS England has beamed a message into the deep, cold recesses of outer space.

The encrypted message advertises salaried and partnered positions in the UK. 

‘It took a while but we finally got a response,’ an NHS England spokesperson reported. ‘It’s from a creature who goes by the name of Thaarg.’

It’s not known from which part of the universe Thaarg is from but he gives himself the grand title of Inter-Galactic Space Lord and is due to start working at a practice in Croydon next week.

‘We were concerned that he was going to get a lot of complaints, partly because he wants to destroy the earth with a ray gun but mainly because his face looks like a crab,’ the spokesperson added.

‘On the plus side he’s been on a half day training programme with the GMC, he’s learnt how to use a chair and he can spell fluoxetine, so it’s all good.’

Thaarg was asked how he was settling into UK general practice but he just screamed ‘THAARRGGG’ and then made a sort of moist clicking noise.

 

 

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