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We're too stupid to hand out chlamydia testing kits

Fact stranger than fiction department. For reasons too tedious to go into, but which involve hoop jumping and bureaucracy, our practice has declined to get involved in the chlamydia screening LES.

Fact stranger than fiction department. For reasons too tedious to go into, but which involve hoop jumping and bureaucracy, our practice has declined to get involved in the chlamydia screening LES.



But being good guys and gals who think it might not be a bad idea to support the initiative*, we wrote to our PCT saying we'd be happy to hand out the testing kits. In other words, we'd do it for free, and skip any associated hassle.

Now we've just heard the PCT won't let us do this. Why? Because we haven't been properly trained. So we're incapable of doling out chlamydia testing kits.

What they do want from us is a list of all our 18-24 year olds so they can send the testing kits out directly to these patients. In other words, it's OK to send chlamydia testing as junk mail.

But it's not OK for it to be handed out by GPs. Or, if you like, patients are clever enough to self-test. But GPs are too stupid to be trusted to hand out the kits properly.

Hopefully the PCT will use a trickle down approach whereby patients can run through the intricacies of testing with their GPs, and hand out the necessary certificate. Then, when I'm screened by the PCT in future for chlamydial knowledge, I'll have something to wave at them. As well as two fingers.

*Excepting the one partner who thinks we should encourage chlamydia infection in deepest darkest Essex because its effects on fertility would be good from a ‘Darwinian point of view'.

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