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CAMHS won't see you now

What else should I ask patients in the Friends and Family Test?

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So, obviously, the big news is the guidance for the implementation of ‘The Friends and Family Test’ is out. At 16 pages and 3,662 words, it’s almost exactly 80 times as long as the actual thing it’s guiding us about.

And that’s not even the most remarkable aspect of this valuable addition to our modern general practice lifestyle. No. That’s the fact that the much rumoured ‘second question’ – the opportunity for us to ask a supplementary question ‘of our choosing’ – really is enshrined in the guidance.

Now, on the one hand, this is clearly too good an opportunity to miss. But on the other, you may well be too busy – reading 16-page, 3,662-word guidance on the Friends and Family test, for example – to be able to dream up a suitable second question.

So, as a Pulse service to readers, I present to you 20 possible supplementary questions. Thus:

Question 1

We would like you to think about your recent experiences of our service. How likely are you to recommend our GP practice to friends and family if they needed similar care or treatment?

Extremely likely; Likely; Neither likely nor unlikely; Unlikely; Extremely unlikely; or Don’t know.

Possible Supplementary Question 2

Are you sure?

Are you sick of satisfaction questionnaires?

You do think, don’t you, that the FFT is a patronising and pointless waste of time? Go on, you do. Don’t you? Don’t you?

What is the capital of Swaziland?

How strongly do you accept that the Government should supply GPs with free chocolate digestive biscuits?

What’s your favourite colour?

Who do you think you are?

To quote from the guidance, the Government wants you to feel as though you are in a continuous feedback loop. Is that how you feel now?

Do you want to escape?

Do you suppose that a person has ever really been suckled by a she-wolf?

Do ya think I’m sexy?

Who put the bop in the bop shoo bop shoo bop?

Who put the dip in the dip da dip da dip?

Do you think that, in the brief pause between your doctor pressing ‘print’ on the computer and the printer providing your prescription, when you normally manage to think of another symptom such as tiredness or dizziness to ask about ‘While you’re there’, you could try, in the future, to shut the f**k up?

Do you think that the abbreviation FFT would be better replaced by a similar abbreviation which ends in ‘S’?

Are you looking at me?

Do you want to settle it outside?

Why am I doing this shitty job?

What’s the point?

Will you just go away now please?

Dr Tony Copperfield is a GP in Essex. You can follow him on Twitter @DocCopperfield


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Readers' comments (9)

  • Even overseas I still turn to Tony for the truth.
    Too many UK colleagues with Stockholm Syndrome.

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  • The problem with this type of survey is that I would question the common sense of the person who gave it to me. As I usually reply to the rest of these senseless customer surveys, I don't go home or to the pub and have an in depth conversation with my family or friends about my value judgement of the recent customer service provided to me. I may tell the company that they are crap and just never use them again. Similarly I avoid any medic I don't like rather than have a discussion of there merits elsewhere.
    There is a shredder in the surgery, use it.

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  • You know, if we lie down and become mats because our elected representatives are just a bunch of spineless wimps who will agree to any rubbish of any magnitude at any time. When, dear fellow GPs, are we going to say NO, NO,NO, and tell the DOH where to stuff this garbage along with their cancer tests, imposed Contracts, A+E LES, MPIG and seniority deductions? Soon, GPC, do stand up and speak for the people you purport to represent. To the vast majority you do not speak for us at all, but just acquiesce to DOH jargon.

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  • Add Motivational interviewing to the above.

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  • Did you hit my brother?

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  • Have you considered voting for the Jedi's at the next election?

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  • I don't have any friends. Much too busy trying to implement ridiculous directives from the DoH.

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  • Friends and Family Test - Sorry they all died as there were actually any GPs left to treat their problems after Private healthcare came in and nobody could afford to see a Dr any more, as it was a choice between eating and GP visit.

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  • Perhaps with this "work Life balance" contract it would be better to ask the GP's family and friends a question i.e. how friendly is your partner, father, mother, nan, grandad when they finally come home at the end of a long day?

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From: Copperfield

Dr Tony Copperfield is a jobbing GP in Essex with more than a few chips on his shoulder