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Who wants to see their GP on a Saturday, anyway?

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‘Imagine running through an endless spreadsheet pursued by an insatiable, anthropomorphised photocopier that wants to tear out your soul and Xerox it to death before shoving the useless skin-envelope of your former self through a giant shredder.’ These are words Colin, a despondent office worker, used to describe his working week. Not surprisingly he, and many others like him, feel let down by the government’s idea of seven-day GP opening.

‘A trip to the GP surgery during office hours used to be an event,’ says Colin.

‘We would all pray for a mild symptom to come along, like an itchy ear or a sweaty armpit, so we could get out for a bit. Being able to spend half an hour in the relative calm of a doctor’s waiting room with a copy of Readers Digest was better than listening to the office boss tell us about his skiing holiday or his Volvo’s phenomenal braking system or how he once shot a wolf with a paint-ball gun’.

‘Besides,’ continues Colin, ‘Saturday mornings are reserved for hangovers: there’s no way I’m going to waste them on a GP appointment. In fact, when I get home I’m going to write to the Government to tell them that their idea of using the health service to force innocent wage slaves like me to increase the country’s productivity simply cannot be allowed to happen. I used to be in a band you know!’

Dr Kevin Hinkley is a GP in Edinburgh

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Readers' comments (15)

  • Funny because it's true!!

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  • I fully agree , the public must understand that coming to GP surgery is not the same as tesco or sainsbury supermarket . Oh I forgot there is not milk or bread for tomorrow morning (Monday!) and its its 5 o clock now , ah ha we got tesco metro down the road till 10pm!! Sorted. Weekend opening will only degrade and de value GP s even further and there will be mass migration of skilled and brilliant colleagues to Australia, New Zealand, Canada or middleast

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  • It only stands to reason that a free service will be abused in this way.

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  • What about those patients with long term conditions that require regular monitoring and who are struggling to hold down a half decent job and frightened to ask their boss for time off during the week.
    What about the people who really do not want to go and sit in A&E just because its the weekend and their GP surgery is not open.
    Yes a "free service" may be abused by some but that is the way life is!

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  • On the plus side it might get you out of clothes shopping with teenagers.

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  • ...Or coming in to work...

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  • Troll alert

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  • Just finished a 2-10 shift in my inner city OOH. Absolute bag of Shyte. Requests for sleepers from a man sponsored by Strongbow. "Some of that oilatum stuff for my bath", from a grown man of 25 with skin like a fresh peach. I banged my head ten days ago and my own GP said I didn't need a brain scan, what do you think, Doc? Can I still be pregnant even though I had a bath straight afterwards? My knees don't look the same size, I noticed in the shower this morning, just after my 6 mile run. Is this a verruca?- I read on the internet it might be one of them melon homers. My toddler is covered in biro and it won't come off. Are you my GP now then or what? Is it okay to drink alcohol with Viagra? The guy at the gym says my blood pressure is too high to use the treadmill, so I walked straight round here so you can ring him and sort it out. Is it normal to have hair growing out of a mole.

    10 ruddy years training plus 9 years of experience and I am wading through this garbage.

    Anyone know the telephone number for Australia House?

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  • We demean ourselves. Rather, the GPC does. If we continue to provide for trivia at £ 3 take home pay per consult, we will continue to be abused.
    GP land should disappear completely. It is not fit for purpose, abused by patients,papers,politicians,peers and people.
    It will disappear, because it is shyte.

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  • The grass is not greener in Australia. We are quickly heading towards the same system as you. Beware.

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