By Lilian Anekwe
Our roundup of health news headlines on Thursday 5 August
I'm assuming you'd rather plunge the sorry depths before I rescue you and raise you up, like Westlife, so you can walk on mountains, walk on stormy seas, etc, etc.
OK, the terrible news first. Our survey on GP views about out of hours commissioning has been mercilessly spun by the Daily Express into a 'greedy GPs want more cash' story and the Daily Mail wails that GPs have boycotted the return to out of hours care. Thankfully there are some balancing quotes from our editor, Richard Hoey.
Moving swiftly on, The Guardian says the Care Quality commission is going to be watching you like a hawk and whispering menacingly into your ear while you're prescribing, to discourage you from giving out too many painkillers and amphetamines to patients.
It also reports on a leaked Department of Health report that slams the money wasted on ‘badly designed and irrelevant' NHS websites.
No such irrelevance in the Daily Express, which says that the power of prayer can help cure the sick, and cites several miracles as evidence. God must be the ultimate cure? And the best thing is, noone can prove or disprove it! Like George Michael sang, you gotta have faith.
German geneticists are a step closer to developing drugs to prevent heart disease – those German doctors and their genetic experiments, where would we be without them?
There's also US research that claims to have cracked the genetic secrets of high cholesterol and heart disease in The Independent and the Daily Telegraph.
Back to the Daily Mail, which is working itself into a lather about the cloned beef in the food chain scandal, it reports that breast cancer screening may be doing more harm than good, whilst other experts hit back in The Independent.
There's a new family of mummy, daddy, and baby ‘super-antibiotics' capable of defeating MRSA and other scary sounding superbugs.
No matter how much time you spend with your butt skywards on holiday, you will never get an all over tan, scientists have proven.
Gisele – someone who I'm certain has an all-over tan which thanks to the wonders of science we can now categorically dismiss and evidently fake – has been forced to back down following her frankly absurd assertion that all mothers should be made by law to breastfeed.
Following global outrage (and Tuesday's Daily Digest), the supermodel and WAG has been forced to retract her comments and women everywhere are free to breastfeed, or not, for as long as they like.
Spotted a story we've missed? Let us know, and we'll update the digest throughout the day...
Daily Digest
