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What the 10-Year Health Plan means for GPs

What the 10-Year Health Plan means for GPs

Is this a taste of the future or back to old ideas?

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The 10-year health preoccupation plan: fear for the future
The 10-year health preoccupation plan: fear for the future

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I’ve fallen shorts of expectation
I’ve fallen shorts of expectation

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AI will lead GPs up the garden path to oblivion
AI will lead GPs up the garden path to oblivion

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GPs need more than three strikes before we’re out
GPs need more than three strikes before we’re out

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Bullshit bureaucracy is back to block the system
Bullshit bureaucracy is back to block the system

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God knows how we get through day duty
God knows how we get through day duty

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The living with obesity epidemic
The living with obesity epidemic

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Consultants should face-to-face up to post-Covid consulting
Consultants should face-to-face up to post-Covid consulting

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Politicians need to man up on men’s health
Politicians need to man up on men’s health

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AI is not the write stuff
AI is not the write stuff

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Evidence of Streeting credibility
Evidence of Streeting credibility

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Copperfield: New QOF is LDhelL
Copperfield: New QOF is LDhelL

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Overdiagnosis is an underused word
Overdiagnosis is an underused word

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The only problem with the polypill is that it doesn’t go far enough
The only problem with the polypill is that it doesn’t go far enough

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New contract causes collective confusion
New contract causes collective confusion

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Frankly, the patients can just fob off
Frankly, the patients can just fob off

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We’re all doom looped
We’re all doom looped

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Trigger warnings need a trigger warning
Trigger warnings need a trigger warning

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The Traitors is over, but the treachery isn’t
The Traitors is over, but the treachery isn’t

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‘Standardised referral criteria’? Gawd help us all
‘Standardised referral criteria’? Gawd help us all

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Reform plan? No scan do
Reform plan? No scan do

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The patients are revolting, or they should be
The patients are revolting, or they should be

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‘To my family doctor, whoever that is’
‘To my family doctor, whoever that is’

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Women’s health report is insulting bollocks
Women’s health report is insulting bollocks

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Wes makes ballsy attempt to distract us from NHS chaos
Wes makes ballsy attempt to distract us from NHS chaos

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Against assisted dying – are you having a laugh?
Against assisted dying – are you having a laugh?

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AI will save us – by destroying everything else
AI will save us – by destroying everything else

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I’m sick of awareness campaigns
I’m sick of awareness campaigns

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Is this the dumbest thing a health secretary has ever said?
Is this the dumbest thing a health secretary has ever said?

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Why should PAs be the only ones feeling the heat?
Why should PAs be the only ones feeling the heat?

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We’re terrible with names
We’re terrible with names

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Have PAs been scopegoated?
Have PAs been scopegoated?

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I’m more resident than the juniors
I’m more resident than the juniors

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Government puts brakes on Darzi’s U-turn
Government puts brakes on Darzi’s U-turn

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They’ll screen and screen until I’m sick
They’ll screen and screen until I’m sick

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Collective action means goodwill games are over
Collective action means goodwill games are over

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2+2 equals a kick up the ARRS
2+2 equals a kick up the ARRS

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First, do some harm
First, do some harm

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We may be safe – but patients aren’t 
We may be safe – but patients aren’t 

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Darzi could send ARRS to the dogs
Darzi could send ARRS to the dogs

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Acute care doesn’t always go with the flowchart
Acute care doesn’t always go with the flowchart

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It’s a thin line between PAs and AI physio
It’s a thin line between PAs and AI physio

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The NHS is circling the drain – the care merry-go-round is exasperating
The NHS is circling the drain – the care merry-go-round is exasperating

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More Rons tasked with saving primary care – who do I vote for?
More Rons tasked with saving primary care – who do I vote for?

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Time to put action into words
Time to put action into words

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If the college was in touch with GPs, it wouldn’t delight in trying to improve them
If the college was in touch with GPs, it wouldn’t delight in trying to improve them

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The trial that is GP life – how workload dump is hitting new lows 
The trial that is GP life – how workload dump is hitting new lows 

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Sick of Med 3s – why GPs should welcome fit note reform
Sick of Med 3s – why GPs should welcome fit note reform

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We can fight back against this state of discontentment
We can fight back against this state of discontentment

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Replace industrial inaction with clinical strikes
Replace industrial inaction with clinical strikes

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Copperfield at Pulse LIVE: ‘I’m attracted to your sheep’
Copperfield at Pulse LIVE: ‘I’m attracted to your sheep’

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The primary care witch project
The primary care witch project

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A striking lack of enthusiasm
A striking lack of enthusiasm

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The last word on insults
The last word on insults

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Yes, minister, general practice should be complex
Yes, minister, general practice should be complex

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Pharmacy First impressions are not good
Pharmacy First impressions are not good

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Will the GMC allow 1.9% of social media fury?
Will the GMC allow 1.9% of social media fury?

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Better get a better mission statement
Better get a better mission statement

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Who needs Traitors when you have politicians?
Who needs Traitors when you have politicians?

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Contract negotiations about as redundant as GPs
Contract negotiations about as redundant as GPs

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How can I even think about morals when I have a bladder the size of a space hopper?
How can I even think about morals when I have a bladder the size of a space hopper?

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If you thought 2023 was bad…
If you thought 2023 was bad…

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Knowing me, Tony Copperfield, knowing you, anxious timewaster
Knowing me, Tony Copperfield, knowing you, anxious timewaster

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LMC decision not to send off acute care is short-sighted
LMC decision not to send off acute care is short-sighted

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Patient journey is a road to nowhere
Patient journey is a road to nowhere

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Travel for treatment means a journey to the GP
Travel for treatment means a journey to the GP

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HRTeetering on the brink
HRTeetering on the brink

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Care pathway meetings are a guilt trap
Care pathway meetings are a guilt trap

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The NHS has a scantastic future
The NHS has a scantastic future

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CQC is leading us down Quantity Street
CQC is leading us down Quantity Street

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A&G spells the end of OPA
A&G spells the end of OPA

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Government magic trick has vanishing chance of success
Government magic trick has vanishing chance of success

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We need a pseudoprescribing disincentive scheme
We need a pseudoprescribing disincentive scheme

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GP to kindly be more kind
GP to kindly be more kind

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Myxoedema madness
Myxoedema madness

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Why are we so bloody-minded?
Why are we so bloody-minded?

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Micro-annoyances cause macro-exhaustion
Micro-annoyances cause macro-exhaustion

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Acute NHS care is a sick joke
Acute NHS care is a sick joke

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I’d prefer preferential treatment for NHS staff
I’d prefer preferential treatment for NHS staff

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Guilty by associate
Guilty by associate

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Stop being arsey about Darzi
Stop being arsey about Darzi

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Duck and dive, 25
Duck and dive, 25

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New tool takes my breath away
New tool takes my breath away

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Strike back against the medical empire
Strike back against the medical empire

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The GP recovery plan could work like magic
The GP recovery plan could work like magic

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The new contract is backbreaking, but in a good way
The new contract is backbreaking, but in a good way

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If you want to get a life, get a dog
If you want to get a life, get a dog

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The workforce and wellbeing QI makes me want to go off sick
The workforce and wellbeing QI makes me want to go off sick

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OTC blood testing makes mine boil
OTC blood testing makes mine boil

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The SAS can’t save us
The SAS can’t save us

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An excess of access
An excess of access

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The new contract is a declaration of war
The new contract is a declaration of war

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Are pharmacists about to shut up shop?
Are pharmacists about to shut up shop?

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Dumb zombie apocalypse groundhog day now
Dumb zombie apocalypse groundhog day now

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No one likes us and we do care
No one likes us and we do care

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NHS England’s rescue plan is surprisingly intelligent
NHS England’s rescue plan is surprisingly intelligent

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Why running late has us running on empty
Why running late has us running on empty

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Losing my religion
Losing my religion

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Our NHS is in a complete statin
Our NHS is in a complete statin

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Rishi’s left me speechless
Rishi’s left me speechless

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I could earn £3bn a year, and I’m prepared to be transparent about it
I could earn £3bn a year, and I’m prepared to be transparent about it

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My Christmas message to journalists
My Christmas message to journalists

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Strep strop
Strep strop

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Let’s be prospective about retrospective access
Let’s be prospective about retrospective access

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Call me an ambulance then call me a naive idiot
Call me an ambulance then call me a naive idiot

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Just scan this
Just scan this

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Who can stop this crazy treadmill? Look in the mirror
Who can stop this crazy treadmill? Look in the mirror

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I’m A GP… Get Me Out Of Here!
I’m A GP… Get Me Out Of Here!

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If Barclay outlasts a course of Amoxil, he should sort out respiratory hubs
If Barclay outlasts a course of Amoxil, he should sort out respiratory hubs

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Not FIT for purpose
Not FIT for purpose

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Trying to improve prescribing? Give us a McCall
Trying to improve prescribing? Give us a McCall

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Coffey’s policies: Targets, GPs
Coffey’s policies: Targets, GPs

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One week in medicopolitics, two weeks in the bin
One week in medicopolitics, two weeks in the bin

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It’s almost as if the access plan hasn’t been thought through
It’s almost as if the access plan hasn’t been thought through

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We’re all equally burned out but some are more equally burned out than others
We’re all equally burned out but some are more equally burned out than others

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A pseudo-symptom of a broken system
A pseudo-symptom of a broken system

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Unhappy headlines because of the stupid ARRS
Unhappy headlines because of the stupid ARRS

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So long, Covid clinics
So long, Covid clinics

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Toxic emissions are overheating Planet Primary Care
Toxic emissions are overheating Planet Primary Care

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Sharing my shared decision-making certificate with you
Sharing my shared decision-making certificate with you

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Stop with all the (wo)mandatory training
Stop with all the (wo)mandatory training

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Workload dump prevention causes loads of work
Workload dump prevention causes loads of work

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Too much medicine, too little time
Too much medicine, too little time

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To B12 or not to B12
To B12 or not to B12

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RIP EBM
RIP EBM

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Is that a complaint in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?
Is that a complaint in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?

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It’s enough to drive me away from retirement
It’s enough to drive me away from retirement

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Stocktake or pisstake
Stocktake or pisstake

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Flushing out the work backlog could get messy
Flushing out the work backlog could get messy

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I’m a bit annoyed about microaggressions
I’m a bit annoyed about microaggressions

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No HRT, no problem
No HRT, no problem

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Copperfield at Pulse Live: Lessons on gambling disorder
Copperfield at Pulse Live: Lessons on gambling disorder

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That’s a weight on my mind
That’s a weight on my mind

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Another dissatisfied customer
Another dissatisfied customer

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I’ll handle the genitals if secondary care can face some patients
I’ll handle the genitals if secondary care can face some patients

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RIP efficient patient notes, FFS
RIP efficient patient notes, FFS

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Sajid’s speech promises fewer patients more cake
Sajid’s speech promises fewer patients more cake

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We need to pull our finger out over cancer diagnosis. Or stick it in
We need to pull our finger out over cancer diagnosis. Or stick it in

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Pharmacists saving 50 million appointments? It doesn’t add up
Pharmacists saving 50 million appointments? It doesn’t add up

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Let me refer you to my previous answer
Let me refer you to my previous answer

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How to advise and guide your patients
How to advise and guide your patients

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War huh
War huh

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Continuity of despair
Continuity of despair

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Panic booking
Panic booking

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Dump and dumper
Dump and dumper

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I hate defensive notes so sue me
I hate defensive notes so sue me

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I forecast income protection with some squalls
I forecast income protection with some squalls

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If you want my advice…
If you want my advice…

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Medicopolitics is the art of the risible
Medicopolitics is the art of the risible

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The GPC chair’s top priority? Remind people why we exist
The GPC chair’s top priority? Remind people why we exist

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150k reasons to ignore the 150k rule
150k reasons to ignore the 150k rule

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Giving the support package a rocket
Giving the support package a rocket

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Bundles of fun all round!
Bundles of fun all round!

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Firm proposals, flexible vision and broken sleep
Firm proposals, flexible vision and broken sleep

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Madvice and misguidance
Madvice and misguidance

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My mind is set on ignoring cancer advice
My mind is set on ignoring cancer advice

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Say it to my face, Sajid
Say it to my face, Sajid

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Let’s get physical
Let’s get physical

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Nanomanaged to death
Nanomanaged to death

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IIF is just a nasty QOF
IIF is just a nasty QOF

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No shortage of shortages
No shortage of shortages

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Joint committee disjointed communication
Joint committee disjointed communication

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Look to the past to see why electronic consulting isn’t the future
Look to the past to see why electronic consulting isn’t the future

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Open or shut, it’s what’s inside that counts
Open or shut, it’s what’s inside that counts

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Covid plans need an allotment more thought
Covid plans need an allotment more thought

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General practice hasn’t vanished, but I wish community pharmacy would
General practice hasn’t vanished, but I wish community pharmacy would

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NHSE is treating obesity as a joke
NHSE is treating obesity as a joke

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Evidently, we can do what we want
Evidently, we can do what we want

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Copperfield’s bulletin to NHS England
Copperfield’s bulletin to NHS England

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Time to pull the plug on e-consults
Time to pull the plug on e-consults

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Must triage harder
Must triage harder

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NHS England’s bulletin just bombed
NHS England’s bulletin just bombed

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The pop art of 15-minute consultations
The pop art of 15-minute consultations

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16 things that are wrong with that 16-page open letter
16 things that are wrong with that 16-page open letter

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An open and shut case
An open and shut case

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A little bit of knowledge
A little bit of knowledge

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Generally cheesed off
Generally cheesed off

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Attached student, detached GP
Attached student, detached GP

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The MHRA has given us all a headache
The MHRA has given us all a headache

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All fired up for the new apprenticeship plan
All fired up for the new apprenticeship plan

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Covid funding fails to hit the right note
Covid funding fails to hit the right note

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Pain free statin prescribing
Pain free statin prescribing

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QCovid is rocket science
QCovid is rocket science

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Cold calling leaves me hot under the collar
Cold calling leaves me hot under the collar

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Mandatory draining
Mandatory draining

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You are complete and utter thankers
You are complete and utter thankers

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A better new year would be divine
A better new year would be divine

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Time for GPs to step down from the oche
Time for GPs to step down from the oche

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NICE’s long Covid guidance is woollier than a festive jumper
NICE’s long Covid guidance is woollier than a festive jumper

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Vaccine programme needs direction
Vaccine programme needs direction

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Let’s not get exercised about PR
Let’s not get exercised about PR

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Home oximetry is where it’s @
Home oximetry is where it’s @

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Bonfire of the inanities
Bonfire of the inanities

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It’s beginning to look a lot like Covid
It’s beginning to look a lot like Covid

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Do not communicate, it interferes with hospital machinery
Do not communicate, it interferes with hospital machinery

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The writing’s on the wall
The writing’s on the wall

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Who you gonna call? (Not me, please)
Who you gonna call? (Not me, please)

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These PCN DES SMRs – WTF?
These PCN DES SMRs – WTF?

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We’re going to be snowed under
We’re going to be snowed under

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Ground control to GMC
Ground control to GMC

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111 plan leaves me Angry & Emotional
111 plan leaves me Angry & Emotional

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Appraise the lord
Appraise the lord

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That’s a quality framework
That’s a quality framework

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Face to face up to it
Face to face up to it

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Now you see it, now you don’t
Now you see it, now you don’t

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The irritation after the clap
The irritation after the clap

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NICE is the opioid of the people
NICE is the opioid of the people

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The nine-step plan to driving a GP mad
The nine-step plan to driving a GP mad

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The impending antibioticlypse
The impending antibioticlypse

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A nasty QOF
A nasty QOF

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Smells like pandemic spirit
Smells like pandemic spirit

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Home truths from Chesterfield
Home truths from Chesterfield

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Let them eat antibody tests
Let them eat antibody tests

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Do you want fries with that antigen test?
Do you want fries with that antigen test?

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My strangled cry against the hero worship
My strangled cry against the hero worship

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Testing my patience
Testing my patience

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We need to be shielded from more NHS advice
We need to be shielded from more NHS advice

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Covid-19, NHS diktats 20
Covid-19, NHS diktats 20

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Can we swap the clap for the NHS for a dose of the old normal?
Can we swap the clap for the NHS for a dose of the old normal?

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The message on respecting the NHS is going viral
The message on respecting the NHS is going viral

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The sound of many hands clapping
The sound of many hands clapping

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Give me a call, 111
Give me a call, 111

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Shut your coronaviral face
Shut your coronaviral face

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I’m weak at the knees at this new research
I’m weak at the knees at this new research

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GP into A&E doesn’t go
GP into A&E doesn’t go

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Dementia team has left me doubting my faculties
Dementia team has left me doubting my faculties

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What I really need is some *enhanced* enhanced additional roles
What I really need is some *enhanced* enhanced additional roles

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Another day, another contract
Another day, another contract

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The mystery of paragraph 3.12
The mystery of paragraph 3.12

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Eight legs good
Eight legs good

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A draft of the deluded or deceitful
A draft of the deluded or deceitful

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Straight to detest
Straight to detest

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Problem solved in the blink of an I
Problem solved in the blink of an I

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New year, new network workload dump
New year, new network workload dump

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This goes way beyond the usual SARSache
This goes way beyond the usual SARSache

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All rise for NICE
All rise for NICE

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Why stop at stopping home visits?
Why stop at stopping home visits?

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Rage against the migraine
Rage against the migraine

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I need something to take the pledge off
I need something to take the pledge off

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The drugs don’t work, so why worry about shortages?
The drugs don’t work, so why worry about shortages?

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Visitors from the past
Visitors from the past

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The many disappointments behind this appointment
The many disappointments behind this appointment

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Told you so
Told you so

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I’ve a shortage of patience
I’ve a shortage of patience

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CQC, take your own intelligent advice
CQC, take your own intelligent advice

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Patients may be waiting longer than ever but at least they are empowered
Patients may be waiting longer than ever but at least they are empowered

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Have I got NEWS2 for you
Have I got NEWS2 for you

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Discharging their responsibilities
Discharging their responsibilities

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Statin the bleeding obvious
Statin the bleeding obvious

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Buy your high-dose statins here for double loyalty card points
Buy your high-dose statins here for double loyalty card points

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Just say no to drug (shortage)s
Just say no to drug (shortage)s

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The grim reality of a very grim story
The grim reality of a very grim story

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How to drive yourself mad using just a stool sample
How to drive yourself mad using just a stool sample

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The King of Complaints
The King of Complaints

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Snowflake GPs? It’s what the NHS asks for
Snowflake GPs? It’s what the NHS asks for

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The referee’s scrutiny has been taken too far – in both sport and general practice
The referee’s scrutiny has been taken too far – in both sport and general practice

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I need something strong for this niggly QOF
I need something strong for this niggly QOF

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I’m sorry you felt the need to compliment
I’m sorry you felt the need to compliment

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Welcome to Planet Advanced Nurse Practitioner
Welcome to Planet Advanced Nurse Practitioner

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Howzat for a PCN
Howzat for a PCN

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GPs are doomed to lose the only game in town
GPs are doomed to lose the only game in town

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Yeah, I know exactly what you are like
Yeah, I know exactly what you are like

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Sorry, I won’t go south at this time of day
Sorry, I won’t go south at this time of day

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Let’s do the time warp
Let’s do the time warp

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A dummy’s guide to colic
A dummy’s guide to colic

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Picture this referral
Picture this referral

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Statinopril all denture cleaners? At least it’ll save us work
Statinopril all denture cleaners? At least it’ll save us work

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Copperfield at Pulse Live: Does the new contract make you want to punch me?
Copperfield at Pulse Live: Does the new contract make you want to punch me?

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Light in the LMC conference tunnel
Light in the LMC conference tunnel

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It’s enough to drive me to fist contact physiotherapy
It’s enough to drive me to fist contact physiotherapy

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We should all be chucking our physician associates out of our prams
We should all be chucking our physician associates out of our prams

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We need a new referendum on Engtry
We need a new referendum on Engtry

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Class dismissed
Class dismissed

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Obsolete? Of course not, GPs are the bedrock of the NHS
Obsolete? Of course not, GPs are the bedrock of the NHS

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Puppy dog Hancock still needs house training
Puppy dog Hancock still needs house training

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‘I can signpost you to the Pope if you prefer?’
‘I can signpost you to the Pope if you prefer?’

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The NHS is the little old lady waiting for an ambulance
The NHS is the little old lady waiting for an ambulance

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Stop meddling with NHS DNA
Stop meddling with NHS DNA

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Can anyone detect our National Screening Committee?
Can anyone detect our National Screening Committee?

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Alert: have you remembered how incompetent you are today?
Alert: have you remembered how incompetent you are today?

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Sympathy for the Devil
Sympathy for the Devil

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Choosing our battles wisely
Choosing our battles wisely

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Hooray! The NHS has freed up time we’re forced to waste elsewhere
Hooray! The NHS has freed up time we’re forced to waste elsewhere

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All this help is making me feel a bit ‘hypo’
All this help is making me feel a bit ‘hypo’

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This contractual postnatal checks idea is giving me sleepless nights
This contractual postnatal checks idea is giving me sleepless nights

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Get me some adrenaline, I feel a petition coming on…
Get me some adrenaline, I feel a petition coming on…

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My tolerance for suffering fools has reached full capacity
My tolerance for suffering fools has reached full capacity

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Prepare to be amazed by some evidence-based magic
Prepare to be amazed by some evidence-based magic

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Missing GPs found hiding under rock
Missing GPs found hiding under rock

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Forgive me, oh Great God of General Practice
Forgive me, oh Great God of General Practice

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Ain’t nothing I can do for your fibro blues
Ain’t nothing I can do for your fibro blues

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It’s all English to you!
It’s all English to you!

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There’s a reason small practices are so popular
There’s a reason small practices are so popular

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It’s a dirty job, and I’m not going to do it
It’s a dirty job, and I’m not going to do it

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Enough already with the natriuretic peptides
Enough already with the natriuretic peptides

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Our ’appy new minister deserves a digital response
Our ’appy new minister deserves a digital response

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Pulling a sickie
Pulling a sickie

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This pay ‘rise’ might just push me beyond boiling point
This pay ‘rise’ might just push me beyond boiling point

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Your referral criteria rejection does not meet my referral rejection criteria
Your referral criteria rejection does not meet my referral rejection criteria

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We’ve got it narse about face when it comes to noctors
We’ve got it narse about face when it comes to noctors

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There is clear evidence of uncertain benefit in NICE’s inconsistencies
There is clear evidence of uncertain benefit in NICE’s inconsistencies

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Access all areas (except the right one)
Access all areas (except the right one)

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Another zombie policy to cap it all off
Another zombie policy to cap it all off

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We are the GP dinosaurs, hear us roar!
We are the GP dinosaurs, hear us roar!

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All this existential angst is bad for my blood pressure
All this existential angst is bad for my blood pressure

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Forget Babylon, I’m pitching the Hypochondriapp
Forget Babylon, I’m pitching the Hypochondriapp

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Agonising over agonising
Agonising over agonising

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No f___ing appointments, but we can offer you an e-consultation
No f___ing appointments, but we can offer you an e-consultation

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The things they say
The things they say

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Notes from Kafka’s care home
Notes from Kafka’s care home

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I feel I am ideally placed to debunk the breast screening ‘scandal’
I feel I am ideally placed to debunk the breast screening ‘scandal’

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Losing my auriscope… and my moral compass
Losing my auriscope… and my moral compass

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Could a chain reaction of criticism blow Hunt away?
Could a chain reaction of criticism blow Hunt away?

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NICE is painting itself into a corner of irrelevance
NICE is painting itself into a corner of irrelevance

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No one likes us – and we don’t care
No one likes us – and we don’t care

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What has Babylon ever done for us?
What has Babylon ever done for us?

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Pulse Live: Spreading the resilience
Pulse Live: Spreading the resilience

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Why not just rebadge 111 as 666
Why not just rebadge 111 as 666

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Perhaps the GMC should perform a self-examination?
Perhaps the GMC should perform a self-examination?

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I’ve got news for the BMA – we’re always on red alert
I’ve got news for the BMA – we’re always on red alert

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The law is an ass when it comes to medical negligence
The law is an ass when it comes to medical negligence

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Getting hospital work by the back door
Getting hospital work by the back door

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Falling on deaf ears
Falling on deaf ears

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Why this new flu jab is bringing out the chills in me
Why this new flu jab is bringing out the chills in me

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Do we really need GPs at all?
Do we really need GPs at all?

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Thank you, Dr Bawa-Garba, for bringing us to our senses
Thank you, Dr Bawa-Garba, for bringing us to our senses

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Running the surgery corridor gauntlet
Running the surgery corridor gauntlet

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NHS 111, the most unhelpful of helplines
NHS 111, the most unhelpful of helplines

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This crisis calls for a radical GP makeover
This crisis calls for a radical GP makeover

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I feel your pain, I just can’t deal with it anymore
I feel your pain, I just can’t deal with it anymore

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*Cough* *cough* ‘This…’ *cough* ‘is…’ *cough* *cough* ‘perfectly…’ *cough* ‘good…’ *cough* *cough* ‘…for you’
*Cough* *cough* ‘This…’ *cough* ‘is…’ *cough* *cough* ‘perfectly…’ *cough* ‘good…’ *cough* *cough* ‘…for you’

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Putting the validation back into revalidation
Putting the validation back into revalidation

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Ten minutes and counting
Ten minutes and counting

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A serious case of being misled
A serious case of being misled

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Bah! We’re all completely scrooged
Bah! We’re all completely scrooged

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What breathtakingly useless guidance
What breathtakingly useless guidance

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Save the NHS – hold the ONS!
Save the NHS – hold the ONS!

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Panic not, we can get Jeremy to copy those GP records
Panic not, we can get Jeremy to copy those GP records

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Hark, for I have witnessed the holy grail of GP correspondence
Hark, for I have witnessed the holy grail of GP correspondence

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Thanks, Jezza, for the gift we never wanted
Thanks, Jezza, for the gift we never wanted

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I keep hearing voices, doc… (what, you too?)
I keep hearing voices, doc… (what, you too?)

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I’ve had a change of heart(sink)
I’ve had a change of heart(sink)

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Drastic times call for drastic measures!
Drastic times call for drastic measures!

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Actually, Prof, Dr Google is a god-send
Actually, Prof, Dr Google is a god-send

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The, ahem, ‘doctor’ will see you now
The, ahem, ‘doctor’ will see you now

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I’m not here just to feed your GABAergic urges
I’m not here just to feed your GABAergic urges

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Bring in the tea ladies!
Bring in the tea ladies!

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Er, how come we’re doing out of hours again?
Er, how come we’re doing out of hours again?

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Soon there’ll be no good patients left
Soon there’ll be no good patients left

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Let’s start with a crack down on noctor prescribing
Let’s start with a crack down on noctor prescribing

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Smile, it might never happen
Smile, it might never happen

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Yes, I am a trainer – but not for much longer
Yes, I am a trainer – but not for much longer

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Gearing up for another GPC U-turn
Gearing up for another GPC U-turn

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Life IS a piece of shit, when you look at it
Life IS a piece of shit, when you look at it

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A dipstick’s guide to urinalysis
A dipstick’s guide to urinalysis

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What do we want? I haven’t a clue
What do we want? I haven’t a clue

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Bounce-backs from the Baltics
Bounce-backs from the Baltics

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Tell me something useful… preferably in the next 9.2 minutes
Tell me something useful… preferably in the next 9.2 minutes

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‘C’ is for…
‘C’ is for…

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The Mr will see you now
The Mr will see you now

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The slow creep of mandatory training
The slow creep of mandatory training

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The longest ‘urgent’ prescription in history
The longest ‘urgent’ prescription in history

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Are you sitting comfortably?
Are you sitting comfortably?

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Snap election is a chance to resurrect the zombie NHS
Snap election is a chance to resurrect the zombie NHS

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The DH is ‘world-leading’ in pointless bluster
The DH is ‘world-leading’ in pointless bluster

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Time to jazz up our DNA policy
Time to jazz up our DNA policy

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Kindly do your own bloody work
Kindly do your own bloody work

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Of course GPs in A&E won’t improve access
Of course GPs in A&E won’t improve access

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Anticoagulation part of our core contract? Sod off
Anticoagulation part of our core contract? Sod off

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Am I getting more mad or more normal?
Am I getting more mad or more normal?

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It’s definitely not me, it’s you
It’s definitely not me, it’s you

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F*** QOF
F*** QOF

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Beware of the GP contract you wished for
Beware of the GP contract you wished for

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GPs cannot contain the chaos much longer
GPs cannot contain the chaos much longer

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Is this neurosis just me or is it part of the job?
Is this neurosis just me or is it part of the job?

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The most pointless consultation I’ll ever have
The most pointless consultation I’ll ever have

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Jeremy Hunt talking perfect sense? Oh hang on
Jeremy Hunt talking perfect sense? Oh hang on

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How about an item of no-service fee?
How about an item of no-service fee?

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Putting GPs in A&E wouldn’t work – here’s my alternative solution
Putting GPs in A&E wouldn’t work – here’s my alternative solution

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Closing the gate before our role has bolted
Closing the gate before our role has bolted

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Sorry? Not sorry
Sorry? Not sorry

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I’d rather place my baubles in the toaster
I’d rather place my baubles in the toaster

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How to get medico-politics wrong
How to get medico-politics wrong

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Let’s not go OTT on OTC
Let’s not go OTT on OTC

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Charles Saatchi has nothing on me
Charles Saatchi has nothing on me

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My solution to secondary care workload dump
My solution to secondary care workload dump

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My cure all drug of choice
My cure all drug of choice

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How the NHS manages to waste its own time
How the NHS manages to waste its own time

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The great ear syringe shortage of 2016
The great ear syringe shortage of 2016

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Here’s an NNT for your thoughts
Here’s an NNT for your thoughts

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Let’s treat the ‘locum cap’ with the contempt it deserves
Let’s treat the ‘locum cap’ with the contempt it deserves

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Replace me with an app? Just try it
Replace me with an app? Just try it

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Congratulations to the RCGP – for once you’ve left me speechless
Congratulations to the RCGP – for once you’ve left me speechless

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GPs can’t do spirometry? That’s our workload issues sorted
GPs can’t do spirometry? That’s our workload issues sorted

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NICE’s latest effort is, shockingly, quite good
NICE’s latest effort is, shockingly, quite good

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Oh great, another brilliant but completely unworkable idea
Oh great, another brilliant but completely unworkable idea

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How stupid do you think I look?
How stupid do you think I look?

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If I go down, the NHS goes with me
If I go down, the NHS goes with me

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We need to be able to refer, not defer
We need to be able to refer, not defer

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comments icon (1)

Just give us the f***ing money
Just give us the f***ing money

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Take heart. The pain could be so much worse
Take heart. The pain could be so much worse

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Hey Capita, a tiny word you are going to hear from me A LOT
Hey Capita, a tiny word you are going to hear from me A LOT

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Thanks, NICE. But I don’t have 100 years to implement your advice
Thanks, NICE. But I don’t have 100 years to implement your advice

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I’ve finally developed a superpower
I’ve finally developed a superpower

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The least surprising exit
The least surprising exit

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My solution for type 1 diabetes workload dump
My solution for type 1 diabetes workload dump

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Ta, but I’ll skip the cuddle
Ta, but I’ll skip the cuddle

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Did I miss something? I thought the Government had finally got it
Did I miss something? I thought the Government had finally got it

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Treating a chronic sense of self-entitlement
Treating a chronic sense of self-entitlement

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Time for the GPC and RCGP to get into bed together
Time for the GPC and RCGP to get into bed together

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Consultations over the counter? It was never going to work
Consultations over the counter? It was never going to work

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Let’s sign those undated resignations – but demand a realistic ultimatum
Let’s sign those undated resignations – but demand a realistic ultimatum

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General practice is a joke that just isn’t funny anymore
General practice is a joke that just isn’t funny anymore

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The post-strike fallout
The post-strike fallout

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We don’t need more money, just less work
We don’t need more money, just less work

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‘A toiletted doctor is a safer doctor’: my alternative campaign for GP rest breaks
‘A toiletted doctor is a safer doctor’: my alternative campaign for GP rest breaks

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NICE’s back pain guidance is a pain in the…
NICE’s back pain guidance is a pain in the…

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Time for a spot of self-abuse
Time for a spot of self-abuse

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A new name for Jeremy Hunt inspired by Boaty McBoatface
A new name for Jeremy Hunt inspired by Boaty McBoatface

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We need to sort the basic problems before trying fancy solutions
We need to sort the basic problems before trying fancy solutions

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Tree-huggers? In Essex?
Tree-huggers? In Essex?

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Journalists – if you’ve got a problem with us, come out and say it
Journalists – if you’ve got a problem with us, come out and say it

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Think you can cope without us? Try it
Think you can cope without us? Try it

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A new contract of nothing
A new contract of nothing

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Who’s to blame for GP waiting times? Elderly immigrants of course
Who’s to blame for GP waiting times? Elderly immigrants of course

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The war of the printer paper
The war of the printer paper

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Golden handshakes: a sticking plaster for hydrophobic trainees
Golden handshakes: a sticking plaster for hydrophobic trainees

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Why the ‘nuclear option’ of mass resignation won’t work
Why the ‘nuclear option’ of mass resignation won’t work

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LMCs need to get this message across: seeing your GP is no longer safe
LMCs need to get this message across: seeing your GP is no longer safe

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The Amazing Jezza, extraordinary magician
The Amazing Jezza, extraordinary magician

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comments icon (1)

Hi, I’m Tony Copperfield – Actual Doctor
Hi, I’m Tony Copperfield – Actual Doctor

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Why I absolutely think we should work weekends
Why I absolutely think we should work weekends

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It’s not all bad – a story to brighten your new year
It’s not all bad – a story to brighten your new year

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10 things the NHS can do to give GPs a less crappy new year
10 things the NHS can do to give GPs a less crappy new year

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Clinging to the cliff edge
Clinging to the cliff edge

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When the CQC stole Christmas. And our senior partner.
When the CQC stole Christmas. And our senior partner.

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Copperfield’s top tips for dealing with colds
Copperfield’s top tips for dealing with colds

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It’s all the GP’s fault
It’s all the GP’s fault

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I support the junior doctors’ strike – but could they avoid Tuesday?
I support the junior doctors’ strike – but could they avoid Tuesday?

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A 14-point plan for NICE
A 14-point plan for NICE

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comments icon (1)

Oh no, patient does know best
Oh no, patient does know best

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comments icon (1)

Dossete, dosete, dosette or dosett – how do you spell it?
Dossete, dosete, dosette or dosett – how do you spell it?

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General practice is not a retirement home for hospital physicians
General practice is not a retirement home for hospital physicians

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comments icon (1)

Trust me, I’m a GP
Trust me, I’m a GP

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comments icon (1)

Beware the super-practice soggy bottom
Beware the super-practice soggy bottom

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Pharmacists mix science with hogwash
Pharmacists mix science with hogwash

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comments icon (1)

If our diagnostic skills become obsolete, I’ll eat my hoverboard
If our diagnostic skills become obsolete, I’ll eat my hoverboard

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The twisted logic of the ‘New Contract’
The twisted logic of the ‘New Contract’

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comments icon (1)

Antibiotics for a cold? Try a bit harder
Antibiotics for a cold? Try a bit harder

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comments icon (1)

Skydiving: the perfect metaphor for general practice
Skydiving: the perfect metaphor for general practice

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Invasion of the acronyms
Invasion of the acronyms

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comments icon (1)

It’s an emergency – but I don’t know who to call
It’s an emergency – but I don’t know who to call

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comments icon (1)

Escape to Australia… oh, hang on a minute
Escape to Australia… oh, hang on a minute

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comments icon (1)

Pedaloing into an evidence-free future
Pedaloing into an evidence-free future

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comments icon (1)

We’re paying for punters to slate our practices?
We’re paying for punters to slate our practices?

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Patients will start dying because we’re too busy trying to keep people healthy
Patients will start dying because we’re too busy trying to keep people healthy

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Please just kick me in the balls next time
Please just kick me in the balls next time

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Care England couldn’t care less
Care England couldn’t care less

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We are being run by aliens
We are being run by aliens

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Next you’ll be telling me that Jeremy Hunt has been chased by a tuba
Next you’ll be telling me that Jeremy Hunt has been chased by a tuba

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Disinformation about ‘lack of 24/7 care’ will stop patients seeking urgent help
Disinformation about ‘lack of 24/7 care’ will stop patients seeking urgent help

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If pharmacists can’t solve the workforce crisis, perhaps fairies can
If pharmacists can’t solve the workforce crisis, perhaps fairies can

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Once Jeremy’s done with hospital doctors, GPs will be next in line for ‘aggressive negotiations’
Once Jeremy’s done with hospital doctors, GPs will be next in line for ‘aggressive negotiations’

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Giving complaints the cold shoulder
Giving complaints the cold shoulder

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For Pever and ever
For Pever and ever

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Orthopods, how about showing us some interprofessional respect?
Orthopods, how about showing us some interprofessional respect?

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The embroider’d cloths of hell
The embroider’d cloths of hell

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Welcome to the great ‘new deal’ show! Yes, that is Jezza in a clown car
Welcome to the great ‘new deal’ show! Yes, that is Jezza in a clown car

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comments icon (1)

Apparently anything and everything a patient ever does is my fault
Apparently anything and everything a patient ever does is my fault

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comments icon (1)

Garbage in, garbage out
Garbage in, garbage out

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A tale of two surgeries
A tale of two surgeries

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That poster? Ah. Yes. Sorry about that
That poster? Ah. Yes. Sorry about that

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comments icon (1)

A little positivity could go a long way
A little positivity could go a long way

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comments icon (1)

Patients who smell
Patients who smell

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There’s a contract heading our way the GPC knows sod-all about
There’s a contract heading our way the GPC knows sod-all about

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No matter which party is in government, it’s increasingly difficult to give a toss
No matter which party is in government, it’s increasingly difficult to give a toss

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Making patients wait two weeks for an appointment gives them new sticks to beat us with
Making patients wait two weeks for an appointment gives them new sticks to beat us with

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The CQC owes us so much more than a sorry
The CQC owes us so much more than a sorry

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Facing a recruitment crisis? Just fill vacancies with receptionists
Facing a recruitment crisis? Just fill vacancies with receptionists

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£21m for a dementia check? I’ll take this one for the team
£21m for a dementia check? I’ll take this one for the team

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If my patient really wants to be over-investigated, she can pay for the pleasure
If my patient really wants to be over-investigated, she can pay for the pleasure

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Consultations have fifty shades of grey
Consultations have fifty shades of grey

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Pharmaceutical industry’s ‘manufacturing problems’ are beyond a joke
Pharmaceutical industry’s ‘manufacturing problems’ are beyond a joke

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Give up bullshit for what’s left of Lent
Give up bullshit for what’s left of Lent

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Is the cancer diagnosis drive actually hurting our patients?
Is the cancer diagnosis drive actually hurting our patients?

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I learned a great mnemonic earlier. Shame I can’t remember what it stands for
I learned a great mnemonic earlier. Shame I can’t remember what it stands for

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‘I’m a doctor, not a skip’
‘I’m a doctor, not a skip’

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Lots of debate, some blood spilled and high scores on the laffometer
Lots of debate, some blood spilled and high scores on the laffometer

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Have politicians and journalists have finally noticed how stressed GPs are?
Have politicians and journalists have finally noticed how stressed GPs are?

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Consultations that make you reach for a pistol #1,738
Consultations that make you reach for a pistol #1,738

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NHS England’s Easter opening edict is a phishing scam
NHS England’s Easter opening edict is a phishing scam

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We are all surveyed out
We are all surveyed out

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If NICE wants to crack down on antibiotic prescribing, why don’t they target patients first?
If NICE wants to crack down on antibiotic prescribing, why don’t they target patients first?

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‘Patient dead’
‘Patient dead’

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‘Doctors don’t take sick leave’
‘Doctors don’t take sick leave’

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Some GPs ‘totally get’ mental health. But I’m not one of them
Some GPs ‘totally get’ mental health. But I’m not one of them

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Since when was ‘befriending the elderly’ part of GPs’ remit?
Since when was ‘befriending the elderly’ part of GPs’ remit?

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Treating asthma was a wheeze before NICE got involved
Treating asthma was a wheeze before NICE got involved

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There’s no such thing as ‘full’ in general practice
There’s no such thing as ‘full’ in general practice

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How can we fix the A&E crisis? Make patients wait
How can we fix the A&E crisis? Make patients wait

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I’m adding to my workload – it’s the only hope of reducing it
I’m adding to my workload – it’s the only hope of reducing it

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Take out the ‘gatekeepers’ and watch the system collapse
Take out the ‘gatekeepers’ and watch the system collapse

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Has the DH thought through the ‘sepsis audit’? Don’t be silly
Has the DH thought through the ‘sepsis audit’? Don’t be silly

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Paramedics should ring patients at half-hourly intervals to ease pressure on GPs
Paramedics should ring patients at half-hourly intervals to ease pressure on GPs

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Why the CQC’s apology makes matters worse
Why the CQC’s apology makes matters worse

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Devon GPs’ ‘don’t come to us’ leaflet didn’t go far enough – so I wrote my own
Devon GPs’ ‘don’t come to us’ leaflet didn’t go far enough – so I wrote my own

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Why did Jeremy Hunt take his children to A&E?
Why did Jeremy Hunt take his children to A&E?

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The CQC has put my practice on the naughty step
The CQC has put my practice on the naughty step

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Patient record access initiative is yet another part of the DH agenda
Patient record access initiative is yet another part of the DH agenda

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Hang out the tinsel! The Friends and Family test is here
Hang out the tinsel! The Friends and Family test is here

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Patients get in the way of our work
Patients get in the way of our work

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Mr Hunt meets his named GP
Mr Hunt meets his named GP

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An impressive pile of the proverbial on the stairs
An impressive pile of the proverbial on the stairs

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Ban smoking in parks? Good luck with that
Ban smoking in parks? Good luck with that

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I genuinely can’t be bothered to list everything that’s wrong with the new dementia DES
I genuinely can’t be bothered to list everything that’s wrong with the new dementia DES

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Antibiotic prescribing targets in the GP contract? A medicolegal nightmare
Antibiotic prescribing targets in the GP contract? A medicolegal nightmare

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We need a service that stops GPs head-butting the walls
We need a service that stops GPs head-butting the walls

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The GP contract is sucking up everything in its path
The GP contract is sucking up everything in its path

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Hospitals are driving patients into a care cul-de-sac
Hospitals are driving patients into a care cul-de-sac

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New ‘brain age’ tool is simply shock-and-awe tactics
New ‘brain age’ tool is simply shock-and-awe tactics

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Ten ways to display your CQC results
Ten ways to display your CQC results

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Tell the GMC I’m #sorrynotsorry
Tell the GMC I’m #sorrynotsorry

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New practice boundaries will be pointlessly complex
New practice boundaries will be pointlessly complex

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Psych teams are taking the p*ss
Psych teams are taking the p*ss

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Put your money where my mouth is
Put your money where my mouth is

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Antibiotics? We can’t prescribe enough!
Antibiotics? We can’t prescribe enough!

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New rules on ‘drug-driving’ look like a car crash
New rules on ‘drug-driving’ look like a car crash

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What else should I ask patients in the Friends and Family Test?
What else should I ask patients in the Friends and Family Test?

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What is pre-diabetes?
What is pre-diabetes?

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Bungled indicators
Bungled indicators

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Ten easy cuts to save the NHS
Ten easy cuts to save the NHS

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Stop Me If You Think You’ve Heard This One Before
Stop Me If You Think You’ve Heard This One Before

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The problem with marlin
The problem with marlin

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AMoX5ORNOT: a new scoring system for antibiotic-prescribing
AMoX5ORNOT: a new scoring system for antibiotic-prescribing

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You name and shame, I’ll open the floodgates
You name and shame, I’ll open the floodgates

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GP to sort? I don’t think so
GP to sort? I don’t think so

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Suarez doesn’t need anger management therapy
Suarez doesn’t need anger management therapy

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‘You’re worth waiting for’
‘You’re worth waiting for’

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A demented bloody waste of time
A demented bloody waste of time

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One more request and I will pop
One more request and I will pop

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Join the queue
Join the queue

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Choose and Book, you’re chucked
Choose and Book, you’re chucked

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Who owns the consultation?
Who owns the consultation?

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I’m not budging on personal budgets
I’m not budging on personal budgets

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The case of the missing Field
The case of the missing Field

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The next big thing in Near-Patient Testing
The next big thing in Near-Patient Testing

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A morning of learning at Pulse Live
A morning of learning at Pulse Live

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Planes, trains and general practice
Planes, trains and general practice

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Hang on, I am no pill pusher
Hang on, I am no pill pusher

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Time is tight on the unplanned admissions DES
Time is tight on the unplanned admissions DES

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The cure for the common cold? A two-week wait for an appointment
The cure for the common cold? A two-week wait for an appointment

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The unplanned admissions DES will do just what it hoped not to
The unplanned admissions DES will do just what it hoped not to

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In one ear and out the other
In one ear and out the other

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Listen, there is no ‘me’ in team
Listen, there is no ‘me’ in team

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‘Got half an hour spare?’
‘Got half an hour spare?’

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We’re laughing at you
We’re laughing at you

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Please, just let us get on with it
Please, just let us get on with it

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The terror of paperwork
The terror of paperwork

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Double shot
Double shot

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Total internal reflection
Total internal reflection

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Showing no mercy
Showing no mercy

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To do or not to do
To do or not to do

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Saying no to care.data = saying no to care?
Saying no to care.data = saying no to care?

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No, I won’t never give you nothing
No, I won’t never give you nothing

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Generating credits
Generating credits

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Reminder: your password will expire in 3…2…1…
Reminder: your password will expire in 3…2…1…

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Bring back the queue
Bring back the queue

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Strangled by bureaucracy
Strangled by bureaucracy

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Sorry folks, it’s last orders
Sorry folks, it’s last orders

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Farewell, Year of the Complaint
Farewell, Year of the Complaint

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An open letter to Jeremy Hunt
An open letter to Jeremy Hunt

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It’s an obstacle course
It’s an obstacle course

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Oh no you can’t…
Oh no you can’t…

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Farewell remote monitoring DES
Farewell remote monitoring DES

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Maybe they’re not all cretins
Maybe they’re not all cretins

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The great contract debate
The great contract debate

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The devil really is in the detail
The devil really is in the detail

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So long, partner
So long, partner

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Not laughing, but crying
Not laughing, but crying

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Saturday surgery
Saturday surgery

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Unleashing my inner disco diva
Unleashing my inner disco diva

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More NHS 111 stupidity
More NHS 111 stupidity

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Let’s be clear on cancer… campaigns
Let’s be clear on cancer… campaigns

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Demand a supply
Demand a supply

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Going for gold? Er, I’d rather not…
Going for gold? Er, I’d rather not…

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Brave new world
Brave new world

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Catch them if you can
Catch them if you can

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12 things that turn my hair grey
12 things that turn my hair grey

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Perplexed over childhood flu
Perplexed over childhood flu

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Merging into the detritus
Merging into the detritus

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Calibrate this, CQC: I’m not spending £7,000 on scales
Calibrate this, CQC: I’m not spending £7,000 on scales

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Calls for longer appointments will ultimately backfire
Calls for longer appointments will ultimately backfire

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The enemy within
The enemy within

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Here’s some sip feed guidance – give dieticians prescribing rights
Here’s some sip feed guidance – give dieticians prescribing rights

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Dear CQC, I feel your pain
Dear CQC, I feel your pain

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I never say no to patients – and more fool them
I never say no to patients – and more fool them

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Sod off CQC – you clipboard-wielding Nazis
Sod off CQC – you clipboard-wielding Nazis

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What does it take to focus on patients – a power cut?
What does it take to focus on patients – a power cut?

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There’s no way GPs would take back out-of-hours work
There’s no way GPs would take back out-of-hours work

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Reasons to be cheerful? Er…
Reasons to be cheerful? Er…

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Defence body subs approach £7,000 a year – but are they worth it?
Defence body subs approach £7,000 a year – but are they worth it?

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The GMC wants us to give up our pseudonyms – #saywhat?
The GMC wants us to give up our pseudonyms – #saywhat?

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A medical man on a mission
A medical man on a mission

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GP success in preventative medicine makes for a rare good news story
GP success in preventative medicine makes for a rare good news story

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GPs can’t keep saying ‘yes’ to so-called obligations
GPs can’t keep saying ‘yes’ to so-called obligations

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GPs should look after elderly patients so well, that they stop attending surgery
GPs should look after elderly patients so well, that they stop attending surgery

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Revalidation is starting to feel like a primary school exercise
Revalidation is starting to feel like a primary school exercise

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There might yet be some horse-trading to come on the new GP contract
There might yet be some horse-trading to come on the new GP contract

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Dropping the ball: a case of ‘missed’ diagnosis
Dropping the ball: a case of ‘missed’ diagnosis

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Checking more urinalyses, expanding IVF provision and Making Every Contact Count: we would if we could
Checking more urinalyses, expanding IVF provision and Making Every Contact Count: we would if we could

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comments icon (1)

The CQC should inspect its infection control teams first
The CQC should inspect its infection control teams first

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The customer may always be right, but only if you run a business
The customer may always be right, but only if you run a business

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A confounding kind of complaint
A confounding kind of complaint

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Of course we should have the right to ring consultants
Of course we should have the right to ring consultants

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A difficult case of Hyperbolic Numerical Specificity
A difficult case of Hyperbolic Numerical Specificity

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Has the hospital run out of steroids?
Has the hospital run out of steroids?

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Quality premiums – just like the fundholding days?
Quality premiums – just like the fundholding days?

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I’ve seen the future and it’s all GPs’ fault
I’ve seen the future and it’s all GPs’ fault

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The three worst QOF indicators?
The three worst QOF indicators?

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The Friends and Family Test
The Friends and Family Test

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My one New Year’s resolution
My one New Year’s resolution

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A Christmas statin
A Christmas statin

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A demented idea
A demented idea

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‘We don’t have any more time, there is no time left, it’s all gone…’
‘We don’t have any more time, there is no time left, it’s all gone…’

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Revalidate patients first
Revalidate patients first

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What the NHS needs is a ‘Fair Use’ policy
What the NHS needs is a ‘Fair Use’ policy

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Monday morning
Monday morning

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One more policy and I’ll scream
One more policy and I’ll scream

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No problems per consultation
No problems per consultation

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Call off the Mumsnet vigilantes – we were doing our best
Call off the Mumsnet vigilantes – we were doing our best

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Please budget responsibly
Please budget responsibly

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The only thing I’ve ever pulled in surgery is an ingrowing toenail
The only thing I’ve ever pulled in surgery is an ingrowing toenail

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The wafer-thin mint moment
The wafer-thin mint moment

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A prehistoric encounter with consultasaurus rex
A prehistoric encounter with consultasaurus rex

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Whatever NCAS is, it’s better than revalidation
Whatever NCAS is, it’s better than revalidation

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comments icon (1)

It’s all Greek to me – and to them
It’s all Greek to me – and to them

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I’m here in body, but my mind is free to wander along the fish counter of life
I’m here in body, but my mind is free to wander along the fish counter of life

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Gagged and bound
Gagged and bound

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A recipe for QOFtastrophe
A recipe for QOFtastrophe

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Headache guidance? NICE try
Headache guidance? NICE try

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Why is it so easy for patients to complain?
Why is it so easy for patients to complain?

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111 won’t work – ‘non-emergency’ is simply not in our patients’ vocabulary
111 won’t work – ‘non-emergency’ is simply not in our patients’ vocabulary

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Nobody notices when we’re right
Nobody notices when we’re right

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A nightmare in twenty questions
A nightmare in twenty questions

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When Tony met Margaret…
When Tony met Margaret…

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How to avoid annual appraisal and other top tips
How to avoid annual appraisal and other top tips

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‘While I’m here, doctor…’
‘While I’m here, doctor…’

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Balancing out the ‘epics’ with the ‘quickies’
Balancing out the ‘epics’ with the ‘quickies’

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A nightmare in twenty questions
A nightmare in twenty questions

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Two bits of good news about revalidation
Two bits of good news about revalidation

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Retire to the back office
Retire to the back office

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NICE DVT guidance is clot rot
NICE DVT guidance is clot rot

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Winning the gold in Exotic Diseases Diagnosis
Winning the gold in Exotic Diseases Diagnosis

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‘Why are you writing ‘retard’ in my notes?’
‘Why are you writing ‘retard’ in my notes?’

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The new QOF on diabetes is neat – and very, very nasty
The new QOF on diabetes is neat – and very, very nasty

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Letters from general practice
Letters from general practice

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If the profession wasn’t angry before, it will be now
If the profession wasn’t angry before, it will be now

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A sixteen-point list
A sixteen-point list

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And how was it for you?
And how was it for you?

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Standardised into submission
Standardised into submission

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Damn right, I’m going to tell you off
Damn right, I’m going to tell you off

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My campaign against campaigns continues
My campaign against campaigns continues

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Voting for an option that’s not an option? This ballot’s got me ticked off
Voting for an option that’s not an option? This ballot’s got me ticked off

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comments icon (1)

In three weeks, we’ll all be dead
In three weeks, we’ll all be dead

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comments icon (1)

Computer says go – right now
Computer says go – right now

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The dumbassiest request from a residential home, ever
The dumbassiest request from a residential home, ever

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comments icon (1)

Burn your paperwork and grab a Waitrose hamper
Burn your paperwork and grab a Waitrose hamper

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Time-warp diagnosis
Time-warp diagnosis

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comments icon (1)

I’m giving it 110%
I’m giving it 110%

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comments icon (1)

A grave undertaking
A grave undertaking

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comments icon (1)

I recall once hearing that exercise might be good for you
I recall once hearing that exercise might be good for you

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comments icon (1)

Pharma’s creating an epidemic around vitamin D deficiency
Pharma’s creating an epidemic around vitamin D deficiency

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Palliative care’s becoming an elaborate game of Cluedo
Palliative care’s becoming an elaborate game of Cluedo

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comments icon (1)

In three weeks, we’ll all be dead
In three weeks, we’ll all be dead

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comments icon (1)

I’ve been asked to treat in-patients before – and it’s out of order
I’ve been asked to treat in-patients before – and it’s out of order

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comments icon (1)

Why is out-of-hours care swamped by repeat prescription requests?
Why is out-of-hours care swamped by repeat prescription requests?

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comments icon (1)

Don’t worry, be appy
Don’t worry, be appy

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comments icon (1)

Blubbery bounce-back
Blubbery bounce-back

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comments icon (1)

New diabetes screening has pushed me to my limit
New diabetes screening has pushed me to my limit

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comments icon (1)

CSA life is all a rehearsal
CSA life is all a rehearsal

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comments icon (1)

Chicken Tonight, zoo tomorrow
Chicken Tonight, zoo tomorrow

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comments icon (1)

Negativity, cynicism, emotional flatness and feelings of pointlessness – essential professional attributes
Negativity, cynicism, emotional flatness and feelings of pointlessness – essential professional attributes

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comments icon (1)

Once more, with enthusiasm, please
Once more, with enthusiasm, please

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comments icon (1)

No more Dr Nice Guy
No more Dr Nice Guy

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comments icon (1)

How much is too much?
How much is too much?

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comments icon (1)

QOF points on erectile dysfunction? Life’s too short
QOF points on erectile dysfunction? Life’s too short

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comments icon (1)

Some things never change
Some things never change

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comments icon (1)

Smart enough to jailbreak iPhones, but not to boil an egg
Smart enough to jailbreak iPhones, but not to boil an egg

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comments icon (1)

Snot a laughing matter
Snot a laughing matter

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comments icon (1)

An insignificant event
An insignificant event

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comments icon (1)

By gum, revenge is sweet
By gum, revenge is sweet

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A breech of trust
A breech of trust

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Disease of the month
Disease of the month

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A note to my younger self
A note to my younger self

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comments icon (1)

Why bother employing locums at all?
Why bother employing locums at all?

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comments icon (1)

Jailing GPs? Ministers need to spend a little time on Planet Primary Care
Jailing GPs? Ministers need to spend a little time on Planet Primary Care

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comments icon (1)

Give us GPs some credit
Give us GPs some credit

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comments icon (1)

We’ve got to stop behaving like call centre headset monkeys
We’ve got to stop behaving like call centre headset monkeys

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comments icon (1)

We rely on self-prescribing
We rely on self-prescribing

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comments icon (1)

Smear training’s not the problem – it’s everything else
Smear training’s not the problem – it’s everything else

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comments icon (1)

Not a dry eye in the house
Not a dry eye in the house

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comments icon (1)

The terrifying prospect of a spectre
The terrifying prospect of a spectre

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Medical ethics is no cartoon strip
Medical ethics is no cartoon strip

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comments icon (1)

I didn’t predict a riot
I didn’t predict a riot

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comments icon (1)

Let sleeping drugs lie
Let sleeping drugs lie

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comments icon (1)

Prime minister? More like a prime idiot
Prime minister? More like a prime idiot

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comments icon (1)

GPs? Strike? You must be having a laugh…
GPs? Strike? You must be having a laugh…

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comments icon (1)

In praise of pauses
In praise of pauses

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comments icon (1)

Hatred never hurt anyone
Hatred never hurt anyone

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comments icon (1)

When Tony met Margaret…
When Tony met Margaret…

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comments icon (1)

A clown on a unicycle, backpedalling frantically
A clown on a unicycle, backpedalling frantically

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comments icon (1)

One not-so-careful owner
One not-so-careful owner

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comments icon (1)

A cut by any other name
A cut by any other name

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Bend over and hand me that traffic cone
Bend over and hand me that traffic cone

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Blog: May contain humour
Blog: May contain humour

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An unholy drug overdose
An unholy drug overdose

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‘Stick to your guns. It’s only a painkiller…’

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Just a perfect day
Just a perfect day

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A cure for all your ills
A cure for all your ills

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‘Nudging’? Try ‘nudging’ a twenty-stone fag-toting diabetic…
‘Nudging’? Try ‘nudging’ a twenty-stone fag-toting diabetic…

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Stuck on the road to snowhere
Stuck on the road to snowhere

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Now I’m not one to snitch
Now I’m not one to snitch

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Everybody be cool
Everybody be cool

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How to save the NHS millions by stopping taking the piss – literally

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See how the buck passes when patients wear glasses
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Forget ‘Going for Gold’ – just let GPs give patients the death they deserve

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Come on in, the gate’s open

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Patients as friends
Patients as friends

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The not-so-great unwashed

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Passing the buck
Passing the buck

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A new QOF indicator, you say? How about this…
A new QOF indicator, you say? How about this…

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NHS Direct and the great macramé doily initative
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Good riddance to revalidation
Good riddance to revalidation

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Different strokes
Different strokes

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A bat out of hell
A bat out of hell

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Never a dull moment
Never a dull moment

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NHS tourists welcome here
NHS tourists welcome here

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Another bout of gratuitous GP-kicking
Another bout of gratuitous GP-kicking

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Where’s our mascot, then?
Where’s our mascot, then?

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The cool wall
The cool wall

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A bombardment of banalities
A bombardment of banalities

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Saturday morning blues
Saturday morning blues

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Game for a laugh
Game for a laugh

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