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Independents' Day

General practice is in a golden brown age

Through the K Hole

In light of a recent report, the Scottish Government has recommended that GPs up their intake of heroin, or 'brown', as it’s known on the street.

The report, called From the Frontline, was published by RCGP Scotland and shows that nearly 40% of GPs are unable to cope with the job on at least one day of the week.

‘If ya cannae cope and are havin’ a bad day,’ says the Scottish minister, ‘then ya need tae get oot the practice and score.’

There are a number of strategies that GPs can employ to cope with burnout

Prof Candid, who works at the Institute for Burnout Studies, said: ‘There are a number of strategies that GPs can employ to cope with burnout, heroin being just one of them.

‘But if buying a tenner bag of gear three times a day doesn’t work, then you could always snort some "Gabas", smoke some "bath salts", shoot up some "jellies" or even knock back a bottle of "Johnnie Walker".

‘It seems to have worked well for the rest of Scotland.’

Dr Kevin Hinkley is a GP in Australia who previously practised in Glasgow and Aberdeen

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Readers' comments (2)

  • Is the Buckie oot then?

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  • "Never a frown with Golden Brown" as The Stranglers knowingly said.

    I wonder if aluminium foil could be a tax-detectable work-related expense?

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