Cookie policy notice

By continuing to use this site you agree to our cookies policy below:
Since 26 May 2011, the law now states that cookies on websites can ony be used with your specific consent. Cookies allow us to ensure that you enjoy the best browsing experience.

This site is intended for health professionals only

At the heart of general practice since 1960

GMC admits to using ouija board

Through the K Hole

k hole 1000x667px

‘When it comes to making the really big decisions,’ the GMC has admitted, ‘there’s nothing better than setting up a spirit board, lighting some candles and asking The Evil One for guidance.

‘Sometimes, in order to entice Him down, we have to offer some form of supplication, so one of us might have to pop out to get Him a sausage roll.’

The ouija board, which is kept at the back of a cupboard, has been used at the GMC for several years and usually comes up with very helpful advice like ‘STRING HIM UP’, ‘SACRIFICE HER’ and ‘I DONT LIKE SAUSAGE ROLLS’.

‘The spirit board seems to offer us the right type of advice,’ the GMC said. ‘It’s cruel, punitive, malicious and loathsome and it gets the job done.

‘Besides it’s way better than we what we used to do. We used to ask Mr Tibbles, the human-hating psychic cat for advice, and he was just all over the place!’

 

Rate this article  (4.79 average user rating)

Click to rate

  • 1 star out of 5
  • 2 stars out of 5
  • 3 stars out of 5
  • 4 stars out of 5
  • 5 stars out of 5

0 out of 5 stars

Readers' comments (5)

  • Your column used to be satire, now reflects reality

    Unsuitable or offensive? Report this comment

  • To be fair, a ouija board might be an improvement to the way things are currently run.

    Unsuitable or offensive? Report this comment

  • hahaha love it, repulsive and true!

    Unsuitable or offensive? Report this comment

  • Vinci Ho

    You see
    Watched The Greatest Showman today and against all odd , I was surprised how much I loved the movie(really moved by some of the songs ) . Many critics slagged it off but its original soundtrack sat tight on number one spot on the album chart . Yes , it is simply about a show man and his ‘freak show’ .
    But comparing to our wonderful GMC , its chair and CEO derserve even more the title ,’The Greatest Freak-Shownan’

    Unsuitable or offensive? Report this comment

  • Vinci Ho

    ‘The Greatest Freak-Showman’

    Unsuitable or offensive? Report this comment

Have your say