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Dear Clare… from David

Dear Dr Clare Gerada,

I was delighted to receive your letter dated HSCB+1. I am replying in person as my staff still consider it a hoax.

I, on the other hand, see no problem in holding two diametrically opposing opinions simultaneously – we politicians do it all the time.

Andrew is, of course, being a right smug person, and I called security in the end to stop him banging the table.

GPs hold a franchise for life in a state-run monopoly. The college has since 2007 held a state-bestowed monopoly on entry to this branch of the profession.

This has enabled you to develop an entry exam with an eye-watering price tag and a vastly flexible pass rate. Exactly the sort of entrepreneurial activity we aim to foster.

Did you catch Vince on Question Time, talking about the nation’s economic heart attack?

To continue the medical analogy, the Brown years with their frenetic, ineffectual economic activity were ventricular fibrillation, and the current Greek position asystole.

Britain is currently in a state of electromechanical disassociation.

All the stimuli have been given, we have reduced interest rates to almost zero, debased the currency, destroyed savings and still the economy is not resuscitated. The monitors look okay, but the economy is a corpse.

You recently, at your own expense, visited the American healthcare system. With respect, this was the wrong system in the wrong country – leading to the wrong conclusions.

You should have visited Greece. In fact, George would be delighted to pay to send you to Greece to study the end result of irresponsible government spending.

I am sending this via our ultra-secure, unhackable net to avoid prying press eyes.

Now, we must get together shortly. Tell me, do you ride?

Best wishes, David Cameron

From Dr Tom Robinson, Penarth, Wales