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An elixir of youth, the end of happy hour, and who’s to blame for your weight?

By Lilian Anekwe

Our roundup of health news headlines on Thursday 12 August.

Cheap alcohol could be banned, The Times says. Which means you will either spend the money you save not buying cheap alcohol, not going to happy hour and shunning tacky alcopops on more expensive booze - or on paying to access the article on The Times' website.

Animal lovers who feed their pets in the kitchen could be putting their children at risk of salmonella poisoning, the Daily Mail warns, by contaminating their family's food with deadly bugs from Mr Tiddles' or Rover's food bowl.

But in an impeccably timed attempt to salvage its own PR, the very same 'deadly' bug could actually save you life by staving off cancer, says the Daily Telegraph, which is clearly in cahoots with the Salmonella Promotion Board.

Stressed-out women will find it more difficult to get pregnant, says The Independent. So if you are a high-flying important career lady-type you should send your nanny or personal assistant down to high street pharmacist Superdrug, who are selling a £9.99 elixir of youth, the Daily Mail says.

Death rates from breast cancer have fallen sharply, The Guardian says. And children with severe asthma have been denied a jab by that enduring newspaper pantomime villain, NICE.

The Daily Mail reports that aspirin cuts the risk of prostate cancer by 30%. It also gives you official permission to add the fact that you're overweight – sorry, must be politically correct now, fat – to the long list of things you can blame your parents for.

Spotted a story we've missed? Let us know and we'll update the digest throughout the day...

Daily Digest