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Avoid cheap glasses, fried breakfasts and definitely deadly superbugs

By Lilian Anekwe

Our roundup of health news headlines on Thursday 28 October.

Glasses are a prerequisite for journalists who spend all day peering at the small print in Department of Health contracts and correcting proofs set by the archaic typewriters and printers that we are forced to abide with at Pulse towers.

So it's bad news the Daily Mail and the Daily Telegraph reports to me today, that as far as budget corrective eyewear glasses go, you get what you pay for with. Cheap ready-made glasses sold on the high street for as little as £1 could damage my eyesight and cause headaches, eye strain and blurred vision.

So it seems I am destined to continue to be ripped off – last time I paid £300 at an opticians who lured me in with a buy one, get one ‘free' offer. And I thought GPs were the crooks.

A deadly superbug ‘imported from the Indian sub-continent' and thus made to sound like some sort of exotic spice is responsible for five deaths in the UK, the Daily Mail says.

Women in their 20s should freeze their ovaries in order to cheat their biological clocks, The Times, The Independent and Daily Telegraph all advise. Though I may look deceptively young (go on, flatter me….) I am actually knocking on 30's door so I clearly don't need to worry about such things. I'll be fertile forever.

Scientists are developing a golden bullet against cancer. The observant amongst you will notice I didn't out ironic quote marks around golden bullet. That's because it's actually made of gold, the Daily Mail tells us.

Also in the Mail, a study has found each of us carries around a genetic handbag stuffed with 100 dodgy genes that could kill us at any moment in a myriad of ways, including cancer and diabetes.

And lastly, a full English breakfast could reduce male fertility, the Daily Telegraph says. It doesn't matter if you're lean or on the portly side, a diet rich in saturated fats reduces your sperm count by 41%. Insert your own sausage-based pun here.

Spotted a story we've missed? Let us know, and we'll update the digest throughout the day...

Daily digest