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Good news, bad news. Exercise won’t help you lose weight but surfing will stop you from losing your mind

By Lilian Anekwe

Our roundup of health news headlines on Thursday 16 September.

It’s a bad day to be a GP. The Daily Mail gives you all a right bashing by revealing 4,000 GPs earn more than the Prime Minister – that’s the princely sum of £142,500. If any amongst you feel like giving me a tenner, all charitable donations will be gratefully accepted. This Daily Digest has got to be worth £15, at least.

GPs also cop the blame for poor child protective services, according to a report for the Department of Health trailed in the Daily Telegraph. You guys are the ‘weak link’ in NHS children’s services and need compulsory training in paediatrics to spot cases of child abuse and avoid another tragic Baby P case. Don’t shoot the messenger, guys.

I can’t link to it because the details were supposed to be embargoed until now, which means either naughty the Daily Telegraph broke the embargo or some swine at the DH leaked it. But because we’re so dedicated we’ve already digested the meaty report for you. Yes, we know, we’re wonderful.

Four out of five cosmetic surgery firms are inadequate The Independent says. I’m sure the fine folks at The Independent are all stunning and svelte glamahacks who have no need for cosmetic surgery, and probably only ran the story that exercise alone will not help you lose weight so they can sneer at everyone else pounding the treadmill slavishly in a desperate attempt to shift excess pounds. I hate them so much.

But while you are on the treadmill, visualing yourself chasing down and then punching your enemies, you should bear in mind that drastic weight loss could wreck your life. So says a previously obese man who lost 12 stone with a gastric bypass, but is now suing the NHS because he’d rather be fat. ‘Family occasions are ruined for me’, he complained.

It’s no joke. You can see the devastating effects of the world’s obesity crisis in The Sun today.

Given that miracle cures by definition should only happen now and again, at best, it’s odd that there are five of them today. Briefly:

Doctors have begun a trial of a drug that can double how long transplanted donor organs last in the body. Scientists have developed a ‘penicillin for skin cancer’ – PLX4032, which shrinks malignant melanomas. Clinical trial finds a potential new autism drug. The world’s first artificial ovary has been grown in the lab, and an aspirin a day cuts the risk of bowel cancer by a third.

Easily the best story the day: mental health treatments, 2010. NHS Cornwall will pay £250 for a half day’s surfing lesson as a treatment for depression, anger management and ADHD. The PCT says it is making use of its greatest asses – the Atlantic coastline – to improve the health and wellbeing of their patients, while naysayers at the Taxpayers’ Alliance says the NHS should use its money for drugs, not watersports. I’m a taxpayer and they’re not speaking for me. Surf’s up, have at it.

Spotted a story we’ve missed? Let us know, and we’ll update the digest throughout the day…

Daily Digest