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Pulse checker: Hancock to appear on Love Island to woo new audiences

Pulse checker: Hancock to appear on Love Island to woo new audiences

Former health secretary Matt Hancock has said he will be appearing on Love Island in an attempt to ‘communicate with people of all ages and from all backgrounds’, while continuing to promote his skills as a Lothario.

Mr Hancock recently came third in ITV’s ‘I’m a Celebrity…’, and subsequently announced he would not stand for Parliament at the next election. 

Speaking to Pulse Checker, he said his main aim for appearing on Love Island was to promote issues close to his heart, but he also wants to ‘prove his swag’.

This is ‘the next step’ in a process that began with the release of a clip of himself kissing an aide during the pandemic.

‘Kids associate modern conservatism with never being able to afford a house, zero-hour contracts and leaving the planet to die. I want to show it’s more than that.

‘It’s also about awarding billion-pound contracts to potential partners – which is something I have over other contestants.’

 Man worth £750m uses private GP, claims shock report 

The nation is reeling from the news that Prime Minister Rishi Sunak, who is worth roughly three-quarters of a billion pounds and has shown no desire at all to support the NHS, uses the services of a private GP.  

Mr Sunak, who preferred to promise a 1p tax cut than fund the NHS when he was Chancellor, is reported to be a client of a private GP service in west London that charges £250 for a half-hour consultation.

The Prime Minister, who has enough in his account to make a bigger money swimming pool than Scrooge McDuck, has been supportive of moves to make GPs see patients face to face and cut waiting times – all with annual funding per patient that would be worth around 15 minutes of his own GP’s time. 

This shock revelation follows recent news appearing to confirm the Pope’s links to the Catholic faith, and a new study that found traces of bear faeces in the woods. 

Revealed: NHSE slogans devised by Saatchi and Saatchi

Advertising firm Saatchi and Saatchi has been commissioned by NHS England in a contract worth £28.6m to ‘encourage people to access NHS services at the right time in the right way’. Pulse Checker has seen a list of potential slogans for NHS England, which we are publishing in full.

Article continues below this sponsored advert

Good things come to  those who wait
(such as urgent lifesaving operations)

You should have gone to Specsavers
(it’s quicker than an ophthalmology referral)

We do exactly what it says in the Daily Mail

It gives you wings
(but unfortunately, there is a lengthy transplant waiting list)

Because I’m worth it
[Note: TV campaign fronted by Michelle Mone]

Probably the best health service in the world*
(*with the exception of South Korea, Taiwan, all of Scandinavia, Austria, Japan, and most of Western Europe) 

Every little helps
(which is great, because we only ever get a little from this Government)

This month GPs have been blamed for

…Problems with weight loss ‘GPs fail women over weight loss with patients feeling they are being judged by their doctors, survey finds’ (Mail on Sunday, 3 December 2022)

…Extorting cash from patients ‘GPs must not be allowed to hold patients to ransom over working hours’ (Yorkshire Post, 28 November 2022 after LMCs’ call for GPs to work normal hours)

The stupid things politicians say

‘The Liberal Democrats have set out plans to give patients a legal right to see a GP within seven days. It would be achieved through increasing training places for GPs, fixing pension rules to prevent so many doctors retiring early, and a recruitment drive to encourage those who’ve left the NHS to return’

A LibDem press release on 4 November, announcing ‘a legal right’ to appointments within a week via policy initiatives that have failed every year for the past seven years



Please note, only GPs are permitted to add comments to articles

Giles Elrlngton 14 January, 2023 10:40 am

Why does Pulse provide the oxygen of publicity? Ignore him and he’ll go away.