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OMG, you don’t tweet!

Dr Simon Ruffle suggests a novel approach to the problem of GP overcrowding.

‘Keep up Doc. Facebook, texts, Twitter, that’s the way you should go,’ said my 70th patient of the day. And the balloon went up, the light bulb went on.cgvv

The Government bleats about access to GPs. It wants us to be innovative, easier to access and see more patients, but more access means less time for each person, so… What if patients only had 140 characters to get across what they had? Twitter!!

Account name set: @nhsfatcat. Surgery door closed, MacBook Pro humming, iPhone on too (for toilet breaks). Twitter logged on – ready to roll.

@nhsfatcat coughing guts up 3 days yellow phlegm chest hurts temperature.

@ivachesticov paracetamol 1g QDS, Doxycycline 100mg 7 days, no better tweet.

Great start. I could do thousands! The NHS would be run on a shoestring!

@nhsfatcat Bloated 3 days – yeast, tomato, wheat allergy, so the homeopath says. I’m tired and cry all the time, allergy to bread? My partner never comes ho…

Oh dear, hasn’t quite got the 140-character bit – I’ll give it a go.

@101heartsink TATT, IBS, PHQ-9 SSRI


@nhsfatcat Jenny-May and Billy-Joe all got colds, u need to visit and give more calpol.

@snotsville Google chemist and postcode.

Job done.

By Dr Simon Ruffle

Dr Simon Ruffle receives a copy of Dr Phil Hammond’s latest DVD, Dr Phil’s Rude Health Show. Visit for details of Dr Hammond’s upcoming tour dates.

Credit: Simon Steiner Flickr Typing