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You are complete and utter thankers


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I am completely, utterly and thoroughly pissed off with repeatedly being thanked in the opening of every official sodding email or letter we receive.

Thank you for doing such a great job, for being so flexible, for your resilience, for adapting, for working such long hours, for booking jabs, for cancelling jabs, for being there even when everyone said you weren’t, for dancing about like crazed marionettes on strings being pulled by the convulsing and uncoordinated.

It’s apparently the law now to insert this platitudinous para whenever we are addressed, and it makes me reflexly mouth the words ‘Oh just f**k off and get to the point’ as I scan down to discover what bucket of faeces is being tipped over my head today.

Because that’s inevitably what happens. In other words, this ritualistic appreciation is exactly the same as the phrase: ‘With all due respect’. Everyone knows that ‘with all due respect’ is simply the precursor to someone showing the level of respect you’d anticipate when you’re about to be kicked in the nuts.

It’s getting so monotonous and meaningless that it’s even worse than the dreaded clap – at least that only happened on Thursdays. And they’re not stopping with us. Oh no. Now they’re trying to smother our children in gratitude, too – I’ve just seen the ‘thank you letter’ letter Nikki Kanani has drafted to the kids of primary care workers. Run, children! Run for your lives!

So enough already with the insincere appreciation. We know you just cut and paste it from the previous day’s message, so stop it. Thanks. And I mean that.

Dr Tony Copperfield is a GP in Essex. Read more of Copperfield’s blogs at http://www.pulsetoday.co.uk/views/copperfield

READERS' COMMENTS [8]

Nicholas Bunting 27 January, 2021 1:18 pm

I wanted to say thank you for this piece, I know how hard you must find the demands of this on top of your day job. We are all having to make changes to the way we work and write columns, and all your efforts are really very much appreciated. I’m sure your family are very proud of you, and all your colleagues at NHS England are proud to work with you, I have no doubt. As you rightly say, Dr Kanani has written a letter to our kids, and she knows how hard you are working, and how your children must be feeling. But, with all due respect to her – unless she’s bugged my home and practice, how the &^%! does she know?

David Mummery 27 January, 2021 3:41 pm

👏🙏👏🙏👏🙏🙏🙏

Decorum Est 27 January, 2021 4:50 pm

Ah Tony, but in the better news, you will have to live a year less with this jolly caper.

John Graham Munro 27 January, 2021 5:21 pm

JUST HAD ANOTHER MESSAGE OF THANKS FROM DAME CLARE MARX FOR ALL THE HARD WORK I’VE DONE IN THE LAST YEAR—–WHEN IN FACT I’VE NOT BEEN ASKED—TOLD G.M.C. TO STOP SENDING THIS BULLSHIT

Merlin Wyltt 28 January, 2021 10:05 am

Its similar to the American “Have a nice day”

Brilliantly observed by Milton Jones

“When I was in America, I really got into the culture. I went into the shop and the guy said ‘Have a nice day’ and I didn’t. So I sued him.

Patrufini Duffy 29 January, 2021 3:44 pm

I powerfully agree. An empty regurgitated generic grey compulsory smeared thank you. With computed signatures and a “to be continued…”. You wait for the must have trend of inevitable shafting, work and beuracracy. And it normally comes. They think we didn’t train in the school of empathy and breaking bad news tricks. That old chestnut “thank you for telling me your suicidal” “thank you for your complaint” “thank you for not attending 7 times”…like concealing a knife with candy floss.

Darren Tymens 30 January, 2021 10:23 am

Don’t thank us, fund us properly.

Alice Hodkinson 7 February, 2021 11:08 am

FAntastic!