I am completely, utterly and thoroughly pissed off with repeatedly being thanked in the opening of every official sodding email or letter we receive.
Thank you for doing such a great job, for being so flexible, for your resilience, for adapting, for working such long hours, for booking jabs, for cancelling jabs, for being there even when everyone said you weren’t, for dancing about like crazed marionettes on strings being pulled by the convulsing and uncoordinated.
It’s apparently the law now to insert this platitudinous para whenever we are addressed, and it makes me reflexly mouth the words ‘Oh just f**k off and get to the point’ as I scan down to discover what bucket of faeces is being tipped over my head today.
Because that’s inevitably what happens. In other words, this ritualistic appreciation is exactly the same as the phrase: ‘With all due respect’. Everyone knows that ‘with all due respect’ is simply the precursor to someone showing the level of respect you’d anticipate when you’re about to be kicked in the nuts.
It’s getting so monotonous and meaningless that it’s even worse than the dreaded clap – at least that only happened on Thursdays. And they’re not stopping with us. Oh no. Now they’re trying to smother our children in gratitude, too – I’ve just seen the ‘thank you letter’ letter Nikki Kanani has drafted to the kids of primary care workers. Run, children! Run for your lives!
So enough already with the insincere appreciation. We know you just cut and paste it from the previous day’s message, so stop it. Thanks. And I mean that.
Dr Tony Copperfield is a GP in Essex. Read more of Copperfield’s blogs at http://www.pulsetoday.co.uk/views/copperfield