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Help! I have no idea how to be a health secretary

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Dear Agony,

Please help. I’ve landed a great new job but I don’t have a clue how to do it!

When Theresa said she was making a few changes at work I thought she was going to rearrange the furniture not make me health secretary!

I know next to nothing about health! I mean I once had my tonsils out and my mum swears blind I had the mumps but apart from that I’m lost. I do know lots about apps though.

Yours Cluelessly,



Dear Matt,

Just chillax. Lots of people do jobs they know nothing about. Why do you think you never get anywhere when you phone up customer service? And why do you think you’re always met with a blank stare when you ask someone at Currys to help you buy a toaster? Being health secretary is no different.

If you start to feel panicked breathe into a paper bag, if you still feel panicked just remember that it’s because of you that we can now find somebody’s address by typing in their postcode. How awesome is that!

Hope that helps.