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A shadow warns junior doctors against striking

A shadow has warned that anyone caught striking tomorrow will be photographed, followed home and should expect to receive a handful of cat poo through their letter box sometime on Wednesday.

The warning comes after a war of words about the planned strike was exchanged in the press.

‘I should add,’ says the shadow ‘that modern democracies can no longer use violence to control the people. It’s not acceptable to point guns at them or to kick them in the ribs with steel capped boots . Having said that the people still need to be controlled. So we atomise and coerce them, browbeat and intimidate them using fear and threat. By reducing people to lonely consumers who have been taught to be genuinely disinterested in what happens to their fellow man we can do anything we like to them. I should add that, but then again that would be too serious wouldn’t it.’

The shadow then made a rabbit and a little bird with his hands which was quite impressive. 

Dr Kevin Hinkley is a GP in Edinburgh