‘We’re gunna save da mudaf***ing NHS’, declares the United States of America.
America, famous for world peace, intelligent foreign policy and its fair and equitable healthcare system has been drafted in to sort out the NHS.
We spoke to Hank Studbuckle, a pumped up physician associate from Minnesota. ‘Y’all got yourselves a fine commie system over there folks. But if my name ain’t Hank Studbuckle Junior y’all better start prayin’ to baby Jesus ‘cos for fifty grand a year I’m a comin’ over to work in your fine NHS…yeeee haaaaa, yes I am.’
He then dropped his trousers, revealing star spangled underpants, and let off a couple of shot gun rounds, narrowly missing the brim of his own hat. Once the gun smoke had cleared there was a very long and very awkward silence.
A government spokesperson said: ‘I don’t know why the GPs in this country are so surprised. All we’ve done is create lots of internal domestic problems by meddling with things we know nothing about thereby spreading fear and moral panic amongst the public. Does this sound familiar?
On the positive side America will help us through it all. God bless America!’
Dr Kevin Hinkley is a GP in Edinburgh