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Bungled indicators

I’m developing this weird kind of Stockholm syndrome whereby I’m striking up a relationship with those who have us GPs bound, gagged and beaten regularly. It’s one of utter awe with regard the tortures they’re able to dream up. After all, we’ve already had the apparent relief of QOF shrinkage replaced by the drip-drip of the Unplanned Admissions DES – brilliant. Plus oppressive scrutiny in the form of revalidation, appraisal, CQC et al, with the added twist of having to pay for the pleasure – genius.

And now we have the notion of bundled QOF indicators for diabetes – miss one and we get sod all . Exquisite.

Strange, really, because, according to NICE, its QOF role is ‘To manage the process to develop clinical and public health indicators for the QOF. This involves prioritising areas for new indicator development, developing and selecting indicators, advising on thresholds and ensuring consultation with individuals and stakeholder groups. We also recommend whether existing indicators should continue to be part of the QOF.’

Can’t see any mention of attaching electrodes to our genitals there. Whatever. We GPs may not go a bundle on bundling but I can see the attraction to our tormentors. And I can’t wait for a similar ploy in other QOF areas. In fact, it surely won’t be long before they bundle the whole of QOF into one sodding great tick box you can see from space. Fail to dot one i or cross one t, and watch your income, and morale, plummet.

Incredible. I doff my cap to my captors for their ingenuity. Well, I would if I could untie my hands.

Dr Tony Copperfield is a GP in Essex. You can follow him on Twitter @DocCopperfield