The Government, wearing a tricorn hat and sporting a flint handled pistol, has announced that further cost savings are needed.
We caught up with him in a candle-lit tavern and asked him to justify his latest proposal.
‘We live in dark times sir,’ he whispered. ‘I have little coin, barely enough to mend my breeches and the shadowy turnpikes have left my horse unshod and unfed.’
After licking the cruel purple scar at the corner of his mouth he continued: ‘The coffers need to be revived and I have vowed that those well-healed professionals with their silks and fancy carriages shall take the brunt of it. I have said before and I shall say again sir, I shall have my way with them.’
And then he began to laugh hysterically, for a period of time which can only be described as awkward.
In response to The Profession’s concern that this is just daylight robbery, our knight of the road replied: ‘I shall clap a bayonet to your breast sir if you persist with such ungodly whimsy. Now if you excuse me I have to ride down the highway of Bagshot scaring the bejesus out of the locals.’
Dr Kevin Hinkley is a GP in Aberdeen