Doctors have abandoned general practice to become extras on Game Of Thrones, it has emerged.
The series, adapted from the novels of bearded author George RR Martin, involves a plot so complicated that ordinary human beings can’t follow it.
‘When we began filming we had enough dwarves, swordsmen, smugglers, kingslayers, nomads, healers and blacksmiths to fill a small banqueting hall, ’ claimed one spokesperson. ‘But we soon ran out of people. That’s when we put the ad out.
‘To our surprise we were overwhelmed with replies, mainly from people so disillusioned with their day jobs that they would rather inhabit a bloodthirsty medieval incestual fantasy land than go back to work on Monday.
‘And it just so happened that a large number of those people were doctors.’
According to the GPC, the exodus of GPs to Game of Thrones has left some practices waiting up to a year before they can recruit a partner, and up to 40% of training posts have been left unfilled.
On location in Ireland that we were able to catch up with some of those involved.
‘I was attracted by themes familiar to us all,’ admits Margaret, a former 50-year-old practice partner from Croydon, ‘corruption, loyalty and politics.
‘So I quit my job. I went from banging my head against a computer screen on a Friday to commanding a legion of fire-breathing dragons the Monday after. I’ve never felt sexier.’
‘I was at a low ebb last year,’ says John, a former full-time locum. ‘Then, I thought to myself, I can either sit here piling on the pounds, seeing an endless stream of patients, wishing I were dead, or I can grow a beard, wear an outfit made out of fur and fish skin and shout things in Dothraki.
Really, this is the best thing that’s ever happened to me, I hope it never ever ends. I am a man again.’
‘We’re truly sorry about the recruitment crisis,’ says the casting director. ‘We only expected to attract the type of people who spend all day in their bedroom painting tiny goblins.’
‘However, we hope that when the filming stops they’ll realise that none of it was actually real and just go back to work.’
Dr Kevin Hinkley is a GP in Aberdeen.