GPs are to be replaced with apps, NHS England has revealed.
Apps are rubbish little programmes that iphone users with too much time on their hands can download.
For example, there are apps which let you distinguish between species of raven and tell you what to say if you’re pulled over by the police.
There’s even an app which can help you identify different radiator keys with 90% accuracy.
Apps can be much more useful than that, though,’ claims one industry expert. ‘In fact there have been intense discussions around the idea of providing patients with an app that will allow them to monitor their blood pressure at home.’
Other possible medical applications include using Arkanoid to diagnose Parkinson’s, a Connect Four dementia app and a voice recognition programme to detect nasal polyps.
There is one important caveat though. The phone will bend if you mess around with it too much.
Dr Kevin Hinkley is a GP in Aberdeen.