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GPs to be inundated by patients wanting e-smack prescriptions

GPs could face thousands of requests from patients wanting to be prescribed e-smack after the Government announced that it has now been granted a licence by the UK drugs regulator.

‘E-smack is a healthier alternative to traditional types of smack,’ says vaping expert Professor Candid ‘and there’s now real evidence that it helps you get off the real stuff. The biggest advantage of e-smack is that you can get it from a nice cuddly doctor who will warmly tell you how wonderfully brave you are whilst writing out your free prescription rather than having to stand about in the rain waiting to give money to that dodgy guy who once fingered your cousin and tried to kill your dog with an air rifle.’

Public health chiefs have welcomed the news saying: ’Putting e- in front of anything instantly makes it healthier. In the new year we’re going to introduce e-gun-crime, e-car-crash and e-holy-mother-of-god-did-that-just-come-out-of-my-nose.’

Dr Kevin Hinkley is a GP in Edinburgh