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Mrs Harrison is a total pain in the arse. The sunglasses, crutch and purple hair are a give-away. If she asks to book in with you, run for the hills. DO NOT RECOMMEND!

Dr Ballater

– 1 week ago –

What can I say about Barry. Whilst trying to discuss his daughter’s asthma he was scrolling through Facebook. When I politely asked him to stop he did made this weird sucking noise with his teeth which made him sound like an angry llama. One star.

Dr Dumfries

– 2 months ago –

I was having a bad day but I couldn’t believe it when this train wreck staggered into my consulting room. He’s only got two neurones and one of those is inhibitory! Do not prescribe Lyrica!

Dr Shoreditch

– 3 months ago –

I met Colin B on a house visit. It was appalling. There were cats and ashtrays everywhere and when I went to use the bathroom the taps didn’t work, there was a mystery stain on the carpet (which looked suspiciously like the outline of a body). If he offers you a chocolate muffin say no!

Dr Leicester

– 9 months ago –

Mr T is a nice enough old man but he wears fingerless gloves and he’s been collecting his own urine for the past 20 years. Don’t suggest a psych review and whatever you do don’t mention jam jars!

Dr Cambridge

– 10 months ago – 

What can I say about Gary. When he’s not after codeine he’s after valium, when he’s not after valium he’s after gabas and when he’s not after gabas he’s after mirtrazapine. And by the way Gary it’s mirtazapine not mirtrazapine! His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.

Dr Worcester

– 1 year ago –